10 top strategies to make him interested again
In the beginning, he seemed super interested in you. He organized dates, asked you about the future, and kept reaching out. But lately, he has been totally absent, and you’ve made the conclusion that he has lost interest. Since you fancy him, you are left wondering; once a guy loses interest can you get it back?
You can absolutely get his interest back
The answer to your burning question is a loud and clear Yes.
Once a guy has lost interest, you can absolutely get it back again.
In fact, every dating situation is a dance between distance and closeness.
Even the most secure person has fears of committing. Love is a fickle thing, and no one wants to end up in a bad relationship.
Don’t resent him for pulling away
To be able to win him back you need to understand that his fear is natural. His absence shouldn’t be something that triggers panic and sadness in you.
Don’t make him pulling away mean that you are not smart, attractive, or interesting enough.
Don’t try to win him back in order to prove something or strengthen your self-confidence.
His subconscious makes a choice
When you are not a match with someone it has to do with their inner landscape, with their wants and secret desires.
It’s mainly about them, not about you.
He doesn’t know you yet
This is especially true if the two of you have only known each other for a short time.
Maybe he senses that you are interested in a serious relationship, he thought he was ready, and that’s why he pursued you. But now when this relationship can become a reality, he is having doubts.
Why do you want him to become interested again?
Before we proceed and take a look at strategies to get him interested again, I want you to reflect on this important question:
Why do you want him?
He has shown with his actions that he is not sure about you, but you still want him? What about him, makes you want him?
Do you have options?
We often get hung up on a guy because we don’t have other cute, interesting guys in our life.
It’s like if you are searching for an apartment and there is only one available and you convince yourself that this is the one. Despite the fact that it is dark and cramped and you actually wanted a balcony.
Dating is difficult
You are the one responsible for supplying yourself with alternatives. I know it sucks that there is no magic men store where you can go and pick out the perfect specimen.
You have to go out in the world and mingle and give available guys a real chance.
You view him with rose-tinted glasses
The fact that you want this very guy, the guy that has been acting absent, tells me something about you, you have a romanticized view of him.
Since you haven’t seen him for a while you only remembered how funny his jokes were, how hot he was, and how successful he seemed.
You need to knock him off this pedestal in order for you to get him back. He can sense that you are overly attached. When a guy loses interest, most often it is because you gave away too much of your choosing power too early on.
He love-bombed you
Since you have a hang-up on him, I’m going to take another wild guess and say that he came on strong in the beginning.
He seemed to be blown away by your personality, he made you feel attractive, and he listened attentively to every single word you spoke.
To sum it up; he made you feel in love, and that is the feeling you want back.
Check out my article about love bombing, to understand more about this phenomenon. Love bombing makes you addicted. Detoxing is hard.
Why do guys lose interest?
Ok, I dished out some harsh truths and you are still here.
Let’s give it a go.
The road to happily ever after is not straight, it can take a detour where it seems like you have lost him.
When you understand why a guy loses interest, you will know what to do to get his interest back.
He discovered something about you he didn’t like
Think back to those times when you lost interest in a guy?
Why did you lose interest? Make a list.
All of those reasons probably come down to the same simple principle, there was something about him that lowered your enthusiasm.
He did or said something, and you realized something you have previously overlooked.
He was not the man for you
This is the essence of dating.
We spend time with someone to determine if they are a good match for us. Since we, in the end, will only choose one, most of the time, we find something that makes us decide that it is a no.
There is nothing mysterious going on when a guy loses interest, he has the same reasons as you’ve had with other guys, in the past.
He might be emotionally unavailable
Don’t bang your head against a wall, make sure you read this article Confessions of an emotionally unavailable man.
You need to access exactly how emotionally unavailable he is.
How to get his interest back – 10 strategies you need to follow
Now we are going to tackle his doubts.
It is true that he had a reason for pulling away. But it is also true that people change their minds and fall in love with someone despite initial doubt.
There are no guarantees that any of these methods will work, but if you think the guy is worth it, do try to win him over again.
1. Become mysterious again
Which brings me to my next point. If he has stopped chasing you, it is (most often) because he thinks he already has you.
If you can figure out a way to show him that you are not who he thought you were if you can surprise him…. He will be intrigued.
The best way to do this is to stop reaching out and focus on your own life and your own passions.
Step away from the social media train
If you do a lot of social media, take a break. He will wonder what’s up.
A couple of weeks later, make an interesting and mysterious post. (For example, a picture of you walking the Inca trail.)
Read my article How to be mysterious for more ideas.
2. Improve yourself
This naturally brings me to my next point.
Don’t beat yourself up, his pulling away had to do with his programming.
But you can still take the opportunity to improve yourself.
We all have areas of our life that we overlook. For example; creativity, exercise, spirituality…
A multifaceted human is more attractive
Ask yourself which area you have overlooked. Make an effort to improve in some of those areas.
A person who is constantly developing is mysterious and interesting.
3. Embrace your sexuality
Most men love sex. So does most women, but we can be a bit more hesitant about our sexuality.
Go on some hot dates. Buy some new hot clothes. Get a new haircut. Go to a concert. Dance the night away. Have sex with someone you don’t care about.
(All clichés when it comes to a breakup, but they are cliches for a reason, they do help.)
Bring the sex appeal
The important thing is that you ask yourself what is sexy to you and that you incorporate more of that in your life.
With a bit of luck, this guy will be able to sense your sexual awakening and his appetite will be triggered.
Your sexuality is your strongest weapon when it comes to seducing a guy. (If it doesn’t work on this guy, it will work on other new guys. So it’s not like you are wasting time.)
Once a guy loses interest, this is one of the best ways to get it back.
4. Make him feel needed
Every man has the need to feel like a hero. He especially wants to feel like a hero in regard to you.
Don’t assume this is old-school and anti-equability.
It has to do with s deep human instinct of being needed, we all have it. Men just have it in a particular way.
Most people want to prove their value
He might have been pulling away because you were busy proving your worth to him, but you didn’t give him a fair chance to prove his worth to you.
5. Be high value
Look, if he is incredibly emotionally unavailable, you could be the most high-value woman on earth, and he still would reject you.
But if he is just your average guy, being high-value will strengthen your case.
It does sound awful to talk about, but humans do care about status. We want a partner who we feel is of high value. Your lifestyle and your enthusiasm for your life determine your value.
Be passionate and independent
You don’t have to be the richest or prettiest or the most popular, but you do have to be passionate and enthusiastic about your life. Make sure this is how you come across in conversations.
We all want to have a fun life, and a person who has a lot of passion for life is fun to be around. Never forget that when you are wondering why do guy loses interest.
6. Make him feel respected
Another reason he might have lost interest is if you were too negative and too critical. A man needs to feel that you respect his decisions and capability.
When he comes back into your life, make sure he can tell that you think he is impressive and accomplished. That you respect his thoughts, opinions, and choices.
7. Ask for his help
You might be wondering how to achieve all this when you never see the guy in question.
For sneaky ways to get him back into your life, read my article How To Get His Attention When He Ignores You – 10 Smart Moves.
One thing you can do is to reach out and ask for his advice. Maybe about a book, album, or movie?
For example, “What was the name of that classic movie you always kept referring to?
(Tailor your approach to the guy in question.)
It should be something he is knowledgeable about since it’s natural for you to reach out and ask about that.
Only try once
If he doesn’t take the bait, don’t push it.
Remember; you have options.
8. Give him time
Most guys, when given time, will reach out again. Once a guy loses interest you normally will have at least one chance to get it back.
This is your cue to show up in his life in a new unexpected way. Utilizing all the strategies I’ve outlined above.
Maybe he just needed time and space to realize what a catch you are.
9. Show up where he goes
If the two of you have a lot of common interests it should be fairly easy to bump into him. Just frequent a couple of places where you think he might be.
Keep the conversation brief and upbeat. Be the one who leaves first. Leave him wanting more.
10. Make sure you have alternatives
The best way to regain his interest is to have other great guys interested in you. You will feel calm and confident and desired, which is all good things.
Men have a primal instinct that lets them know that there is stiff competition out there.
Meeting some other guys is one of your best options.
A final note on once a guy loses interest can you get it back
In a dating situation, we lose interest for all sorts of reasons. To find out the top ones, read my article When a guy acts interested then backs off – 11 top reasons why and how to react.
But the fact is that he liked you from the beginning, so you’ve got what it takes to catch his interest.
He might have only been preoccupied with other things.
However, the best thing you can do to get his interest back is to go out there and have an amazing, authentic and fulfilling life.
Get rid of your want
The best way to get him back is to not want him back at all. In fact, he will probably reach out again as soon as you find another guy you are excited about.
When he does reach out again you will have to act differently to get a different result. Just ask yourself what you would normally do and act in the opposite way.
If you would start seriously pursuing him again, just don’t. Don’t reach out, don’t make suggestions, just be. And let him do all the work.
If you on the other hand is a bit distant and aloof, try opening yourself up and inviting him into your life.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.
