Is it good to be mysterious in a relationship?

8 secret strategies to increase the X-factor in your relationship

Being a bit mysterious in a relationship is a good thing. Even in a long-term relationship, it’s healthy to be a bit mysterious to keep the spark alive. A certain amount of mystery creates sexual attraction and chemistry.

You don’t want to be aloof or weird. There is a correct way to be mysterious in a relationship, so more about that further down.

I am not mysterious

If you feel like you are not mysterious at all and that’s why you are asking, “Is it good to be mysterious in a relationship?” Don’t worry, it’s also totally OK not to be mysterious in a relationship.

Most people are not mysterious

In fact, most people are not mysterious to their long-term partners. The initial mysterious pull between two people is normally replaced by care, comfort and true love. But if you are looking to bring your mysterious side to your relationship, I will tell you exactly how to do that.

Reasons why it’s important to be mysterious in a relationship

We all like a bit of mystery. We like to be intrigued and challenged and surprised. When you watch an exciting movie, you keep finding out new things and keep guessing what will happen. You feel excited and alive.

That is the allure of a nice mystery. We all like to explore and learn new things. Most humans also like to be surprised.

Life has a tendency to become mundane

It’s very common for us to get stuck in the mundane, the steady, the scheduled. We like to be in our comfort zone and do predictable things. Unfortunately, this way of living can also become very boring. There are no challenges and no excitement. Men are biologically wired to thrive when challenged. Thus it is especially important to be a bit mysterious to keep a man interested and engaged.

To be mysterious create attraction. You can also check out our articles on How to appear more attractive as a woman and How to be mysterious.

How to be mysterious in a relationship?

8 secret strategies

1. Learn something new

We stay mysterious when we keep evolving. If you are not the same person today as you were yesterday, you are already mysterious.

Developing your personality and your skill level is the most important part of staying mysterious.

Chose something you wouldn’t normally go for

You can create even more mystery by choosing a skill that is very different from what you would normally do.

For example, learn martial arts if you are usually shy and introverted. If you are extroverted, you can try a creative writing course. We are more mysterious when we nourish the different sides of our personalities.

2. Do things on your own

In a relationship, it’s easy to start doing everything together. That is love and it has a certain charm. If that’s what you want, that’s totally OK.

But to keep the mystery alive, you have to have an identity of your own. You have to be comfortable doing things alone.

You will have new things to tell him

If the two of you are always together, there are no new things to talk about. Doing things on your own can also be listening to a new podcast or reading a new book.

3. Get out of your comfort zone

As humans, we have a big need for comfort and predictability, and nowhere is this clearer than in our romantic relationships. There is a reason why people get into a relationship and start watching Netflix. We also love comfort food.

Take on something scary

This is all sweet and nice, but to be an interesting challenge, you have to expand your horizon. You have to do things that scare you a bit. Go on a trip, apply for a promotion or learn to do improve-comedy. Whatever scares you, that’s where you need to go.

You can start by getting out of your comfort zone by mixing up your schedule in small ways. Go to a new café. Try a new restaurant. Go for a hike in an area you never visited.

4. Be creative

We all have a creative side, but most people don’t give this part of themselves the attention it deserves. Creative people are naturally more mysterious. I’m sure you have a creative side that you might have lost touch with.

Now is the time to embrace that side of you. Start making music, take song or dance lessons. Sign up for a painting course or a creative-writing retreat. Whatever you do, make sure you bring mystery into your life by diving into art.

Make a new playlist

If you are not artistic, you can still expand this part of your life by being more active in different ways to consume art. Yes, playlists do count. The right song definitely makes things romantic movie-like and mysterious.

5. Don’t tell him everything

It can be tempting to start doing all these new things and then share everything with your partner. However, by not telling him everything and rather just doing it, you will achieve a good way of being mysterious in a relationship. Do keep some of the new stuff to yourself.

But do share what makes you unique

On the other hand, it’s also important that you share the things about yourself that make you special.

Sometimes we are not mysterious enough because we are afraid to be vulnerable and truly let another human close to us.

Everyone is interesting

But not everyone is brave enough to share in a vulnerable way. Think about the most profound moments of your past. When did your life take a completely new direction?

Share the story of those moments with your partner.

6. Be passionate

Passionate people are naturally more mysterious. One reason for this is that they are so busy with their passion so that they forget time and space. They are lost in themselves and in their pursuit.

There is something scary about being passionate. And that’s one of the reasons many people don’t dedicate themselves fully to things. We are too afraid of failure.

But to be mysterious, you have to be brave. Being passionate is a good way to be mysterious.

Passionate people are happy people

Reflect on the things you are passionate about and invite those things to take center stage in your life. You will be busy and fulfilled and you will come across as interesting.

7. Spend less time on social media

Sorry to break it to you, but there is nothing mysterious about sharing all the different parts of your life on social media.

Instead, take a break from social media and go do some fun original things. Since you haven’t posted on social media what you are doing, you will have to tell your boyfriend what you have been up to. Or don’t tell him. Either way, he will find you intriguing.

8. Be spontaneous

Say yes to invitations and suggestions. Leave for a road trip. Help someone who is in need. Follow your impulses.

Someone who is predictable is not mysterious. By doing unexpected things you will be mysterious even to yourself and that is the best way to be mysterious.

Be spontaneous with your partner

It’s also important that you are spontaneous in your relationship. When your partner suggests things, say yes. Be enthusiastic. When both of you can be more spontaneous, both inside and outside the relationship, your whole relationship will be more mysterious.

A Final Note

When you are mysterious in a joyful and positive way, it is absolutely good to be mysterious in a relationship.