You are going on a first date, congratulations. This is going to be fun. My first date advice for women would be to just lean back and enjoy the date. There is no need to stress out and try too hard. He might be the one, or he might not.
Find out what makes him tick
This early in the dating game, your only focus should be to find out more about him and his life while at the same time sharing things about yourself, so he gets a chance to get to know you.
I would also advise against being too dismissive. Don’t compare him to the dream guy you have created in your mind.
Appreciate him for exactly who he is. Focus on his positive sides and be generous if he seems shy or awkward. Be charmed by him, and he will, as a result, be charmed by you.
First date fashion tips
First thing first, what are you going to wear? For some women, this question is stressful, for other women deciding on a cool outfit is the best part of a first date. When you go on a first date, you get the chance to wear some of your nicer clothes while doing something fun, such as a dinner or a hike.
Naturally, you don’t want to show up in your sloppiest clothes.
Men are visual, and if you want to make a man attracted to you, your appearance is one of your best weapons. On top of that, the right outfit will make you relax, so that’s why clothes are part of my first date advice for women
Go for something cute and flirty
Your outfit has to be cute and flirty, but it is also of absolute importance that the clothes are comfortable and that you feel like yourself in them. A first date is not the time to try out completely new clothes.
Instead, pick out some of your favorites and combine them in a way that elevates them.
Try several different outfits and ask a friend for advice on what looks best on you. If you find good combinations, snap a picture and use some of the other outfits for more first dates or for the second date.
Wear something feminine
For a first date, I would recommend wearing an outfit that is on the more feminine side of how you usually dress. Examples of this can be; a skirt, a blouse, a pair of earrings or the color red.
Or try showing a bit more skin than what you would normally do. Feminine clothes are, generally speaking, sexier and more appealing to the average man.
Or embrace your cool style
If you are a die-hard tomboy, you should, of course, stay true to your aesthetic. Society is different now, and many men like a woman in cool clothes, so go ahead and wear your favorite sneakers and a lumber shirt.
The right man will find you incredibly sexy just the way you are. The bottom line is that, for a first date, you should wear clothes that you love. We always feel comfortable wearing things we treasure.
First date conversation tips
Sometimes a first date feels more like an interview.
To avoid this problem, ask him open-ended and unexpected questions. For example, ask about the strangest place he has been living in or the strangest job he has done.
Empathize with him
When he is done answering the question, instead of asking another question, make a statement such as “That must have been scary?”
This way, the conversation flows more easily.
You can also get out of the interview feeling by challenging him a bit and playfully disagreeing with some of the things he is telling you. A discussion is better when it comes to creating attraction.
Make sure you focus on the feelings
With a new person, we often get stuck in a surface-level conversation. This means that we exchange facts instead of feelings. But to form a deeper connection with someone, it is important to speak about how things make us feel.
Avoid surface-level conversation by always focusing on the why. Why is that important to him? Why does he hold that opinion?
Ask about the things that mean something to him
To get to know your date more intimately, ask about his dreams and aspirations.
Most of us love to talk about our passions. Talking about things we like makes us in a good mood, and when he goes home, he will connect the good feeling with you.
The excitement will color the experience
Making him feel excited bout things is great first-date advice for women, he will feel excited about you.
Prepare yourself to feel less nervous
If you feel nervous about the first date conversation, my advice is to prepare a couple of questions you want to ask him.
Also, prepare a couple of things you want to tell him about yourself.
Make sure he gets to know things about you
This way, you make sure you actually open up to him and give him the chance to get to know you. There is nothing wrong with a bit of preparation. Even stand-up comedians prepare their gigs. Preparation just means that you care and that you are invested in the outcome of the date.
For even more tips on how to make great conversation check out our article First date conversation tips.
First date flirting tips
One thing you have to do on a first date is to flirt. If you have been out of the dating game, this can feel scary. But fear not, flirting is fun and something you can become better at by practicing.
With today’s possibility of internet dating, you can get a lot of first dates and a lot of opportunities to strengthen your flirting muscle. Go out there and be seductive.
You might wonder exactly how to do this? Prolonged eye contact is a good trick. Don’t be afraid to take him in with your eyes.
Try teasing him to create sexual tension
You should also tease him.
Teasing is a bit difficult to do with someone completely new, we naturally tease our friends and people close to us. But you should still try; just be aware that your attempt to tease him can fall short.
Make him attracted to you
If he doesn’t get it, point out that you are just teasing him. Teasing someone creates a lot of sexual tension. If you want more information about how to make a guy attracted to you, check out our article How to create sexual tension with a man.
We also wrote an article about the art of teasing; How to tease your crush.
Compliment him
Another easy way to flirt with a man on a first date is to compliment him. You can compliment his shirt or his sneakers; whatever you like about him, go ahead and tell him.
Flirt by making him feel good about himself. Since a first date is a lot about telling another person about ourselves and what we are up to, make sure you are impressed with what he is telling you.
Examples of exciting statements
Say things like; That’s really interesting. That’s really cool about you. That must have been exciting. Tell me more. What made you take that decision? Did you ever regret doing that?
All those statements give him the sensation that you are interested in what he is telling you and that you are also impressed with different aspects of his achievements.
Don’t forget to touch him
Another thing you can do is touch him lightly.
Touch creates a powerful bond between a man and a woman, and the right touch will help you stay out of the friend zone. When you touch him, you subconsciously convey that you are attracted to him.
This will make him attracted to you.
For even more tips on how to become better at flirting, check out our article How to flirt with a man.
What to do on a first date?
Many times, the man decides the activity for the first date, but if he does give you alternatives or asks what you would like to do, go ahead and pick an activity you would enjoy.
For example, you can say; there is this band I have wanted to check out. Or this exhibition.
For a first date, it’s a good idea to do something active together. An activity has the advantage of connecting two people. So don’t forget to be active when you ask for first-date advice for women.
A fun activity makes the date more dynamic
Also, when you are active together, there will be many things to comment on to avoid long awkward silences. Doing an activity will also give you lots of options to subtly touch the guy in question, compared to, for example, a dinner where you sit down opposite each other.
Other alternatives for what to do on a first date
Other examples of activities can be going on a walk or a bike ride. Any activity with a bit of adrenaline involved will make him more attracted to you and more likely to open up to you.
Afterward, if the date has been going well, it’s a good idea to grab something to eat. Dinner or coffee will give the two of you the chance to have a conversation and connect on a deeper level.
You can ask him questions and find out what he is all about.
Change the location to create a shared history
Another great tips for first date location are to change location a couple of times during the date. This will give the two of you a sense of having been through more together, and thus you get a deeper emotional connection with the guy.
How to end a first date
And last but not least, when it comes to first date advice for women, if you had a good time, go ahead and tell the guy exactly this.
After a date, many guys wonder if you are interested and how you feel about the date.
Don’t keep him guessing; leaving on a positive note will make him eager to do more things together with you.
You open the door for a second date
By telling him that you liked the date, you show him that you are open to continuing to see him. After this, lean back and let him take the initiative to the next date.
And when it is time for the next date, check out our article Second date advice for women.
A Final Note
The secret to nailing the first date is to treat it as a fun adventure with someone you are eager to get to know.
Throw in a bit of flirting, romantic scenery, and a couple of shared laughs, and you got yourself a second date.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.