6 foolproff strategies to turn physical attraction into emotional attraction
The short answer is yes; physical attraction can absolutely turn into emotional attraction. Most men’s attraction to any woman starts at a physical level. They see her and they want her. They are attracted to her physical appearance. Only later do they find out if there is an emotional connection between them and the woman in question.
How to increase emotional connection?
To increase the emotional connection between two people a couple of key ingridients are neccesary, further down we take a look at them. But first, we will look at what physical attraction means and why it happens.
Understanding why connection (both physical and emotional) happens between two people will give you plenty of tools to manufacture a connection.
Our physical demeanor says a lot
When we talk about our physical attraction and physical appearance, this means so much more than just our looks. Dark hair? Long and slim? Those things can play into physical attraction, but they are not the main feature.
People usually correctly (or somethimes incorectly) interfer a lot of information from someones way of dressing, demenaor and overall attitude.
Is this a rich person? Is this a successful person? Will they be kind?
We are intrigued by them
When physical attraction takes place between two people, it is about so much more than just thinking that someone is cute or looks nice. We feel an attraction to their whole being. We draw conclusions from their appreance and we like what those conclusions are telling us.
It is still only physical attraction. And we can be wrong in the reasons as to why we are attracted to this person. If we find out that they are not whom we thought they were, we might whitdraw our attraction.
Our subconscious makes the choice for us
We often get frustrated when we like someone, and they don’t share our feelings of attraction. But when attraction happens, it is not personal.
The other person makes their choice on a subconscious level, and so do you. Their reasons stems from experiences in childhood and their relationship to their parents.
A chemical explanation for physical attraction
We might think that we have good reason to be attracted to someone, but one of the main reasons is that our genes match up.
We inhale their smell, and our bodies tell us that we would make strong babies if we came together with this particular person. The result of this deep primal urge is that we feel attracted to a specific person.
Sure, this is not science, but it explains why we feel attracted to someone we don’t necessarily have an emotional attraction towards.
Physical connection is lust
We are biologically programmed to desire our fellow humans. Sure, we can shut off this side of ourselves from time to time. But in the end of the day, it is as natrual as eating.
As you go trough life you will meet an array of different people and you feel feel a strong lust to some of them. You are not a zombie.
But in most cases, you are focused on other aspects of your life and you simply dont want to take the physical attraction and turn it into an emotional one.
Because an emotional connection requires an emotional investment.
6 Key ingredients for emotional attraction to occur
Emotional connection is more of a choice than a physical connection. We can be drawn to a particular person, but ultimately, we are the ones who choose if we want to spend the time to get to know them better.
1. Spending time together
So the first ingredient you need when you want to take a physical connection and turn it into an emotional connection is time spent together. Physical attraction can happen in an instant. It is the famous spark. Or love at first sight.
Emotional connection is something that builds over time.
The more we get to know someone, the more we trust them and the stronger our connection becomes. Generally speaking, there is no shortcut to a strong and solid emotional connection; it has to be earned. If you want someone to feel an emotional connection with you, you need to spend time with this person.
2. A willingness to be vulnerable
The next requirement is that both people are invested in making the emotional connection stronger.
There has to be a desire for connection to make it happen. Don’t believe people who say,” It just happened.”
Emotional connection comes because you are open to it and because you have welcomed it. Physical connection, on the other hand, can just happen.
You can increase emotional connection without words. You do this by showcasing open body language and making a lot of eye contact with the person you want to connect with. Emotional connection can also be built between two people doing an activity ( for example rowing or building a fire) without a single word being said.
It takes two people to connect
Both parties must be willing to connect because an emotional connection requires vulnerability. Without vulnerability, the connection is shallow. The other person has to tell you personal things, and you have to tell them personal things.
When two people form a strong emotional connection, it is never just one person’s ”fault.”
Both parties invest time and energy in making the emotional connection grow. Both people showcase a certain amount of vulnerability towards the other person.
How to be more emotional available
One of the best ways to create stronger connections with people around you is to be more emotionally available, read our article How to be more emotionally available.
Another way is to give people the space to share who they truly are, check out How to get someone to open up emotionally?
3. Shared values
When we form an emotional connection with another human we usually connect over something and more often than not this thing is a shared value. Dont get me wrong, you can be very different from the person in question because it only takes one thing that brings you together to deepen your emotional connection. For example; you observe how kind this person is. Or the two of you bond over your shared love for a specific singer, or for your love of food.
They have something you like
Whatever the reason, make no mistake, you have your motivation. There is a very specific reason as why you feel drawn to this person. They have a quality you appreciate.
And vice versa if they are indeed feeling connected to you.
4. A common goal or a common enemy
People form a strong emotional connection when they have a common goal. I can not understate this truth. If you are wondering how to take a physical connection and turn it into an emotional connection, do consider how you can share a goal with this person. Ask your love interest about their goals and see if you have any goals in common.
Because of this meqanism work colleagues often fall in love. People who do sport together often feel connected, as well.
A common enemy
This bring religious and political groups together and it is a strong glue and it makes them feel a strong emotional connection with other people who share this enemy.
5. How connected we feel with other people around us
If someone is open to take a physical connection and turn it into an emotional connection it almost always means that they dont feel connected enough in their lives.
We have a finite amount of emotional closeness to give to other people. Sure, this can vary a bit over time. But if we are very busy with growing our families or focusing on our career, we will not be as open to emotional connection.
There should be a need for connection
So sure, the physical connection can be there between two people, but for emotional connection to occur, both people need to have the mental space to welcome emotional connection.
6. The X factor and connection
The most fantastic thing about emotional connection is that it is very hard to explain. Why do we feel such a strong pull towards some people? Almost like we knew them in a previous life? Or at the very least like they are destined to be in our life?
We are itching to get to know them on a deeper level.
All I can give you is that for physical attraction to turn into emotional attraction there needs to be a certain amount of magic.
We can not manufacture this x-factor, but we can enjoy its result.
Physical attraction doesn’t always turn into emotional attraction
The reason why a strong physical attraction doesn’t always lead to a relationship is most often that the other person feels scared.
Yes, it is true. He might tell you that he is not feeling so strong, or that he has to prioritize work, but the real truth is that he wants to protect himself from getting hurt. He dont want to risk all the heartache and this is a perfectly fine reason.
It’s not a good match
The other explanation as to why the emotional connection doesn’t happen is simply that the two of you are not a good match.
Sometimes, the most straightforward explanation is the truth.
No need to overthink this one.
He might realize that you are too bubbly or too calm for his preference.
We cannot always explain our attraction or lack therefore.
A final note on the question if physical attraction turn into emotional attraction?
In most cases physical attraction do turn into emotional attraction. If this process doesn’t occur, it means that the two people are not open for an emotional attraction or that they are simply not a good match.
There are thousands of reasons as for why you wouldn’t be a good match for a specific person, so dont take the rejection too hards.
If you feel the physical attraction and want to turn it into emotional attraction, use my 6 key ingredients to help you on your mission. If those 6 strategies dont work, it wasn’t meant to be.
The most important emotional connection we have in our life is the one we have to ourself.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.
