Do I Love My Boyfriend? How to Tell if It’s Real

9 ways to know for sure

Your boyfriend is a great person, the two of you get along. But lately, doubt has enterd your mind, you have started to wonder if he is really the right person for you. Now you have come here looking for an answer to the big question; do I love my boyfriend?

1. You make him a priority

The biggest sign that you love your boyfriend is that he is always at the forefront of your mind. You consider things from his perspective and you try to figure out what is best for him.

How much we think about someone is a good indicator of how much we love them. The way we act as a result of those thoughts is the practical application of our love.

Are you going through a rough path?

When we have other problems in our life that need our attention, we think less about our boyfriend and his needs. Nevertheless, if you still make quality time with him a priority, it’s a good sign that you do love him.

Is he always an afterthought?

Do you find yourself forgetting altogether that he even exists? Do you sometimes feel he is yet another point on your to-do list? Do you often feel confused as to what he even wants from you?

You guessed it, those are signs that you do not love your boyfriend.

2. You feel excited about spending time with him

How we spend our time is a reflection of the things we care about. When you see that he called you, do you feel excited? Do you look forward to your date nights?

Or do your rather be on your own?

If you on the other hand find yourself fantasizing about how your life would be without him, that’s a clear indication that something else is keeping you in the relationship. Maybe habit and comfort?

3. You have empathy for his negative sides

When you love someone, you are prepared to accept that person’s negative sides.

We all have negative sides. Knowing someone well means understanding where their negative sides come from.

Sure he is frugal, but you know his childhood didn’t involve a lot of money, so you don’t hold it against him.

Does he irritate you?

Consider where his negative sides stem from and see if you can be more empathic. A lack of empathy in this area simply means you don’t love him.

4. You feel he is an extraordinary person

We want to be impressed with the person we love. Usually, this happens naturally when we love someone. We are capable of seeing what’s really special and wonderful about them.

Or is your love story over?

When you start feeling like there is really nothing special with your guy, that’s the beginning of the end, my friend.

5. Doing nothing together with him feels restful

This is such a clear indication of whether you love your boyfriend or not. Being with the people we love is like coming home. We feel calm and comfortable.

Nothing special needs to happen, it’s enough to just be in their presence.

6. You love him even when he is sick or weak

How do you feel when your boo is sick? You should feel the need to nurture him and be there for him.

The same goes for when he is having a hard time.

Are you supportive?

Unemployment and financial hardship is big dividers when it comes to couples staying together or separating.

The day you start to feel he is a burden, sorry to break it to you, you do not love him anymore.

7. He feels like a good friend

Surprisingly this is a good sign. Don’t worry that he feels like your best friend. That is a healthy and normal feeling in a long-term relationship.

It is easy to work actively to add the spark to a great friendship. This is what people mean when they say love takes work. You have to show up and bring the romance.

That you feel he is a great friend means you think his character is good and that he is supportive of you. He makes you a better person.

8. You are sexually attracted to him

This is such an important point; I could have put it at the top.

It is also a tricky point, since your attraction level will naturally decrease over time.

But if you love him you should still be able to feel that magic pull of desire. You should be able to look at him and feel a pang of lust.

Only nowadays you feel it more rarely, and that’s completely normal.

If the attraction is not there?

You might doubt that you love your boyfriend just because you dont feel as attracted to him as you would want. if this is the case, try to work actively towards increasing your attraction.

It can be as simple as you dont love him, but it can also be a destructive side of you that want to sabotage what could have been a healthy and happy relationship?

Are you often attracted to men that’s not a good match fro you? If that’s the case, it might be you that is the problem.

9. You are attentive to his wants and needs

All people have needs. They might be hungry, need to be comforted or need alone time. One clear sign that you love your boyfriend is that you are in tuned in with his needs.

Sometimes you know what he needs even before he himself knows.

You also take pleasure in satisfying his different needs and wants.

A healthy relationship is about being there for your partner, (while at the same time staying true to your self) if you feel you are good for him, you do love him.

How should love feel?

Now that you know the 9 major signs that you do love your boyfriend, let’s take a look at some other important factors.

Because your question hides other questions, such as how much love is enough? And, why am I not feeling the things I want to be feeling?

Did you fall out of love with your boyfriend?

Everyone knows that being in love and loving your boyfriend are not necessarily the same thing. Most relationships start out with a lot of passion, but as times goes by, that fire turns into trust, appreciation and true love. The way we relate to our partner change over the course of a relationship.

Only sometimes you are wondering if you simply fell out of love with your boyfriend.

Know that this is a common occurrence in most couples. Your feelings for your boyfriend will change.

You feel less

When the first phase of infatuation (3-6 months) wears off you start seeing your partner more clearly. You have to decide exactly how much you love him and how important the relationship is to you. It’s normal that it takes some soul-searching to find your authentic truth.

Are you in a toxic relationship?

Maybe there are some red flags in your relationship and that is why you are forced to ask do I love my boyfriend or not?

For example, there is a lot of fighting and negativity between the two of you.

Or your boyfriend always makes you feel worse about yourself.

To find out if you are in a toxic relationship check out our article 13 signs of a toxic relationship.

Your boyfriend is not responsible for you having an exciting life

On the other hand, you can be the problem in this equation.

Do you get bored easily? Have you had similar thoughts in your previous relationships?

It’s easy and convenient to make your boyfriend responsible for your life. You want him to bring meaning and entertainment to your existence.

When he fails to do so you start doubting your love.

Be your own happiness

Making our partner responsible for our happiness is a mistake. Even if you have an amazing boyfriend, you still have to bring passion and joy to yourself. You have to find the things that give you meaning.

Maybe you feel unsettled and restless because there are areas in your life you have forsaken?

Fix all areas of your life

Toni Robbins talks about the seven areas of life, and all of which need to be attended to. Go ahead, and give yourself a rating in those 7 areas.

To see if your boyfriend is responsible for your unhappiness, make sure you get all areas of your life to a solid 7.  

Yes, this can take a couple of months, but I trust that you will get there.

A Final Note

Loving your boyfriend is not an either-or. It’s a scale and therefore the question Do I love my boyfriend is a complicated one. Probable you do love him, but the question is if you love him as much as he deserves to be loved.

Only you can answer that question.