How to be More Active in Bed as a Woman  

Show your guy a good time by using these 7 sensual strategies

When it comes to sex, the man is often the one who takes the lead. He controls the interaction, and he seduces her. This is all fine. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t be more active in bed as a woman. If you want a man to experience the best sex he has ever had, the key to doing this is to be more active in bed as a woman.

How to do it – The crash course

Start by treating him to a slow build-up.

Connect with your sensual side to become more comfortable with your sexuality.

Ask him what he likes and deliver on what he tells you.

Practice mindfulness, let go and enjoy yourself.

Come up with new ideas and try them together with your partner.

Men also want to be lead

Men also long to be seduced. They fantasize about a woman who takes the lead, knows what she wants, and is not afraid to tell him exactly how she likes it.

Almost all men want a woman who is more active in bed.

This is not hard to achieve, just follow my guide below, and both you and your man are in for a fun experience.

1. Treat him to a slow build-up

You might have heard the saying that a women’s biggest sex organ is between her ears. This is true for women, but it’s also true for men.

We, as humans, are turned on by what’s going on in our brains. We dream and fantasize about sex as well as about other things.

Don’t make the mistake of treating men like stereotypical horny cavemen. Don’t trust what you see in porn clips. It’s just the sex equivalent of McDonald’s.

Good foreplay doesn’t start with the two of you taking off your clothes and getting down and dirty. Good foreplay begins much earlier than that.

Take your time to seduce him

If you want to give him the orgasm of a lifetime, you have to tease him and make him think about you and sex over a long period.

This can be days or weeks, or even months. Men also need to be seduced to reach their full sexual potential.

Play along with his fantasy

Ask him about his fantasies, pick the one you like, and use it to excite him. Use messages and suggestive photos of yourself. The more different mediums you can use, the more excited you will make him.

Another idea is to use the voice recording message to tell him an erotic story, blending together his fantasy and your own fantasy. Tell him what he should do with you, long before he is allowed to touch you.

As another saying goes; The longer the wait, the sweeter the fruit.

2. Connect with your sexual side

To be able to do things like the slow foreplay I describe above, in the most seductive and authentic way, you have to be brave and free.

We are all brought up with different negative emotions connected to sex.

For example, that sex is bad or shameful. Or that we are not attractive enough.

Sex with yourself is often seen as something ridiculous and desperate.

You have to liberate yourself from those notions and learn to become more in tune with what turns you on. The freer you are in your sexuality, the better you will become at being more active in bed as a woman.

Let go of shame and insecurities

Since there is so much shame and stigma surrounding sex, many women haven’t taken the time to explore their fantasies. You have to connect with yourself as a sensual being.

Try different methods to awaken and explore this side of yourself.

Examples of this can be watching movies that turn you on, reading erotic literature, and taking some time to fantasize about sex every day.

Sex needs nurturing to thrive

Sex is just like any other passion; the more time you spend thinking about it, exploring it, and experimenting with different methods, the more skillful you will become.

Try different sex toys, play with yourself. Know what makes you excited and what makes you hornier than you have ever been before.

This knowledge will translate to you being more active in bed as a woman.

3. Ask him what he likes

Some men have a lot of sexual fantasies. Some have less.

Whatever the case, you should explore his sexuality as well as your own. We are often afraid to ask our lovers what turns them on and what they fantasize about.

It’s hard to talk about sex without being jealous, and thus many couples (and casual hook-ups) stay away from this route. But to be more active in bed as a woman, you must learn more about what is exciting for the man in question.

You have to try and satisfy his unique need.

Find out his secret dreams

Be brave, work with your jealousy, and ask him what he likes and dreams about. Ask him what he would like for the two of you to try and take the initiative to try the things he suggests.

Try to be as non-jealousy as possible

If you are the non-jealousy type, you can ask him about previous sexual experiences that made him particularly horny. When you have those conversations, it’s extremely important that you are non-judgmental.

Sex and what turns us on are very personal and should never be judged.

Whatever secrets he chooses to tell you, never use them against him in other contexts.

Trust leads to amazing sex

The more open and non-judgmental you can be, the more he will trust you, and the better sex you will have.

Sex is about trust.

Trust not to be judged. Trust to be able to be yourself and just relax and enjoy and explore.

Be wiling to experiment

When you do find out more about him, be willing to try new things. If you don’t feel comfortable with his fantasies, tweak them to your liking.

Fulfilling some of his fantasies is a good way to be more active in bed as a woman.

4. Let go and enjoy yourself

I’m going to take a wild guess here: Most of us have had a great sexual experience with a man we didn’t particularly care about.

We were not concerned with making a good impression or even making the sex particularly good. As a result of this relaxed mindset, the sex ended up being very good.

Treat him as a stranger

Try this technique when you want to be more active in bed as a woman. Forget about him. Treat him like a random man you don’t particularly care about. Don’t focus on his pleasure. Just care about yourself. Focus on the moment.

Use the same technique you would use to be more mindful. Tell your brain to notice things like smells and sounds. If your thoughts start to wander, gently bring them back to the sex and the sensations you are having.

5. Amp up the intensity

Being more active in bed is about you. It’s about what you like and what you would want to happen. Don’t be afraid to be more intense when it comes to sex. Talk more. Moan more and higher. Move around. Stimulate yourself.

Show your man exactly how you would like him to do different things. This form of being active in the bed is what many men yearn for.

Show your passion

They want to know that they really turn you on and that you enjoy the sex with your whole being. We all want someone who is open and responsive. Someone who loves the way we are touching them. Be that person.

6. Come up with new ideas

We all crave variety in life. This is true when it comes to sex as well as many other things.

Even if something tastes ridiculously good, it doesn’t taste good anymore if we are forced to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for weeks.

Predictability becomes bland

The same goes for sex. Don’t serve him pasta Bolognese every night.

It doesn’t matter how much he liked it the first couple of times. To be more active in bed as a woman, you should come up with new ideas. Not sure where to start?

Check out my articles 13 Things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and Sex tips for women.

Don’t be lazy; be brave

At the same time, we crave variety. Humans are also lazy.

This is why our sex life often becomes stale and boring. Your boyfriend discovers the best way to give you an orgasm and vice versa, and both of you keep doing this.

Because coming up with new ideas takes effort, fulfilling those ideas takes work.

It’s also a risk. The risk of the new thing being boring, unsatisfactory, and maybe even embarrassing. So you have to try and overcome the natural laziness and the fear of trying new things.

7. Try dominating him

Here is one idea you should try out if you want to be more active in bed as a woman; Be the one who dominates him. Be the aggressor. Tell him what he can do and what he can’t do.

Use handcuffs or a scarf to tie him to the bed, put a pair of blindfolds on him, and have your way. Don’t be afraid to punish bad behavior.

Surprise him

Surprise him with this side of you. If he doesn’t like it, well, at least he will appreciate the pasta Bolognese a little bit more next time. Pleasure exists and gets amplified by contrast.

In Conclusion

A deep sensual connection is not only about the sex that is happening between you and your partner. It’s about everything that’s going on between the two of you. This connection between emotions and sex is important to remember.

Don’t underestimate a man’s emotional depths. Men also feel strongly. They cry, listen to love songs, and think about good memories.

Understanding this part of every man will give you the ability to tap into his deepest side and give him sexual experiences he has never had before. In conclusion, follow the tips above, be active in the bedroom, but also keep connecting in other ways.