How to decode his behavior
Guys don’t always tell you about how they feel, but they do always show their feelings through their actions. So, if you are feeling insecure and wondering how much he cares, take a look at these 23 signs he doesn’t want to lose you. See how many of them he checks, and you will have your answer.
1. He knows what he did wrong and he apologies for his behavior
You often wonder if he really cares when the two of you are having a fight. A guy who is deeply invested in the relationship will say he is sorry if he did something wrong.
He is capable of reflecting on his behavior and realizing why it might have hurt you. He is on your side, and this becomes extra clear when the two of you have a disagreement.
A genuine heartfelt apology is one of the strongest signs he doesn’t want to lose you. He wants to make things work.
2. He makes sure you know that you are valuable to him through his actions
He might not come out and say how much he loves you or how much you mean to him, but he is always acting sweet toward you. Is he being thoughtful? For example, in the many different ways he takes care of you. He might bring you gifts or service you in other ways.
In his presence, you feel important and valuable. He always seems to come up with new ways to delight you. His actions tell you that you are incredibly important to him.
3. He likes to discuss activities the two of you might do in the future
You can know that a guy cares about you and wants you in his life by the way he talks about the future.
If he mentions things he would like to do together with you, this is a good sign he is invested in the relationship. Do you want this guy to be crazy about you? Read my in-depth guide on How to make someone fall in love with you.
4. He brings his A-game
When we are in love with someone, we have a tendency to put them on a pedestal. We might even be wondering why someone as wonderful would choose us. As a result, we often try to step up our game in all areas of our life.
We work on our fitness, we try to advance our careers, and we strive towards becoming better humans.
He wants to impress you
This is actually one of the main signs he doesn’t want to lose you. He wrongly perceives that you are out of his league and he tries to bridge the gap.
5. In conflicts, he always validates your feelings
You might feel doubt about this particular guy when things are tough. You seem to have hit a rough spot and that’s why you are feeling all this doubt. But the sign you should look for is if he is validating your feelings.
When you say you don’t spend enough time together, does he say, “I know.”
Whatever your specific situation, the more he validates your feelings, the more he wants you in his life.
6. He tells you that you are important to him
Sure, guys are not always vocal. But one of the exceptions to this is when they are afraid of losing someone.
If he is at risk of losing you and he tells you how much you mean, that’s a good sign. He realizes the seriousness of the situation. He doesn’t want you to have any doubt about how important you are to him.
7. He tells you personal things about himself
None of us are perfect, and our shortcomings often stem from traumatic experiences in the past.
When a guy deeply cares about you, he wants you to know who he is, and what experiences shaped him. He wants you to see behind the mask we all wear, and look into the depths of his person.
If he shares things with you that he doesn’t often talk about, this is a good sign that you are special to him.
Read my article, What does it mean when a guy tells you personal things about himself? to understand more about this phenomenon.
8. He teases you
Not everything in life is serious, one of the biggest signs that a guy is totally smitten by you is that he always tries to tease you.
He wants you to smile and defend yourself. He wants to show you that he gets you and that he knows how to make life fun.
All of this is being achieved by him teasing you. The more effort he puts in to entertain you, the less he wants to risk losing you.
9. He asks about your life vision
A guy who doesn’t want to lose you is interested in who you are as a person. He knows you are unique, and he wants to find out more.
He always wants to know what makes you tick. If he asks a lot about your future, even better. He is obviously thinking about how the two of you fit together, long term.
10. He is happy just to be spending time with you
A guy who is crazy about you doesn’t need to be doing anything special, he is happy to just tag along with whatever you are doing. In fact, he particularly enjoys doing ordinary stuff with you.
When he tries to fit into your normal life, this is a sign he doesn’t want to lose you.
11. His communication is on point
A guy who is keen on making the relationship work will do his best to communicate what he needs from you. He will also ask what you need and want from him.
You will notice that he will want the two of you to talk about your problems.
He will try to come up with solutions to fix whatever obstacles are in the way of your relationship.
12. He makes you feel good about yourself
One of the clearest signs that you found a man worth keeping is how he makes you feel about yourself.
A man who is a nice person and who genuinely cares about you should make you feel strong, confident and happy.
If the relationship is new, be aware of love bombing. Is he acting too affectionate towards you?
13. When you have disagreements, he tries to mend your relationship
Does he tell you he is prepared to change? Does he promise you that things will be different?
Is he ready to change things about himself?
It might not just be empty words. The more he is prepared to work on the relationship, the more it means that he doesn’t want to lose you.
14. He is especially nice to your friends and family
He might have misbehaved, but now he is trying to make up for his bad behavior. One thing he is doing is trying to connect with your friends and family.
He might hope that they will put in a good word for him. If you are having a conflict, he might try and win them over.
When a guy tries to charm the ones close to you, it means that he knows their opinion matters to you, and he wants to make it a good one.
15. He introduces you to the people close to him
Another of the main signs that he doesn’t want to lose you is that he tries to bring you closer by letting you meet his friends and family.
He wants you to be part of his closest circle because this is a way for him to show you how important you are to him.
16. When he manages to hurt you, he gets genuinely sad
Does he care deeply when you are sad?
A guy who is invested in you cares a lot about your feelings—more than you think. Guys also have sensitive hearts.
The thought that he might have hurt you breaks his heart and he will empathize with you and try to make things better.
17. He gets jealous
This is a sign that yes, he is very afraid to lose you, but it’s not the best sign. Partly because it can also mean that he is insecure and lacks self-esteem, it also means that he probably has struggled with jealousy in previous relationships.
But yes, a man in love will perceive you as very valuable and he will be afraid that someone else might snap you up.
18. When you give him negative feedback, he tries to change
This is one of the clearest signs that he doesn’t want to lose you. He knows he has to step up his game to keep you in his life.
Since he wants to be with you, he will try to adjust to what you want. He will want to become a better man because of you and your love.
19. He is at your service
A man in love is always looking for ways to serve his girl and make her life better. He might bring you gifts, or he might come up with suggestions on how you can improve your life.
If he gives you career advice, this is actually a sign he doesn’t want to lose you. He is trying to bring value to your life and thus justify his role in your life.
20. He is making you a priority in his life
This is one of the top signs that a man doesn’t want to lose you. When he makes room for you in his life, you know he is invested in the relationship.
You can tell that he wants to spend a lot of time with you. He makes you feel welcome in his life.
He lets you know whats going on
When the two of you are not together, he checks in with you through calls and texts. He is always fast to answer your messages.
If you feel that he is not investing enough in you and the relationship, make sure you read my article How to make him commit without asking.
21. He is protective toward you
He might not be jealous. But he will try and protect you in all kinds of different situations. He will point out possible obstacles and dangers, he will fix things around the house. Another clear sign is that he will urge you to not take risks.
He will spot danger before you do and you will feel like you have a guardian angel.
22. He is affectionate
He likes to cuddle, he holds your hand, he kisses you tenderly. In fact, all displays of physical affection are him telling you how important you are to him. He might not use words, but he will show you his love by the way he interacts with you.
He kisses you before you leave, he hugs you when the two of you meet up, the list is endless.
23. He makes sacrifices
Romantic relationships are not always easy. There are always obstacles and problems. But if this man is worth keeping, he will be prepared to sacrifice things so that your relationship can thrive.
He will work less, move cities, and spend hours trying to fix things for you. He might also make small sacrifices such as sleeping less to keep hanging out with you or letting you decide which movie to watch.
A final note on clear signs he doesn’t want to lose you
I know we sometimes doubt if there is enough love there. Every relationship goes through difficult times. It is easy to start doubting that your partner is as invested as you are.
He might be acting distant and you are left looking for signs that he doesn’t want to lose you.
Don’t despair just yet, men show their feelings through their actions. If he still acts in a nice way, ask him what’s going on.
Tell him you need more love and reassurance. It’s never wrong to ask for the things you need.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.