When is enough enough in a relationship-10 clear signs

We tell you when it’s time to move on

You look at yourself in the mirror and you wonder; should I walk away? Is this relationship really worth all the suffering? How much will I lose if pull the plug? Can I survive on my own? Why is love this painful? Check out these 10 clear signs that enough is enough; your relationship has come to an end.

Is it time to walk away?

It’s not easy to know when a relationship has run its course.

After all, all couples have problems. You work through them and you become stronger on the other side. The relationship survives. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

But not all relationships are healthy.

Losing your love?

You have probably invested a lot and worked very hard on this relationship. Walking away feels like you are losing part of those years.

Part of you still loves your partner.

Letting go of your hopes and dreams is tough. But if you recognize yourself in these 10 signs, that’s exactly what you have to do.

1. You don’t recognize yourself anymore

One of the biggest signs that enough is enough is that you feel like you have become a shadow version of yourself. You are nervous and fearful, and you are certainly not having fun.

You might lash out at your children or at your friends. Work feels like a battlefield.

Or you feel increasingly isolated. Maybe you have a lot of negative thoughts? Even things that have nothing to do with your relationship feel like a struggle.

Only you know who you were before this relationship.

What happened to you?

But if you used to be brave, carefree and happy, I can tell you that you can get that person back.

The wrong relationship has a scary ability to alienate us from everything that is important to us. We simply pour all our energy in trying to make the relationship less toxic, only to realize down the line, that we have completely abandoned ourselves.

2. You don’t trust your partner

Trust comes in many different forms. This point can be about fidelity. But it can also be about things like trusting your partner with money or with taking care of your children. When there is no trust, you often don’t believe your partner will do what they say they will do.

You have to constantly act as if your partner will let you down. This leads to you feeling responsible for everything and trying to take care of everything. You know that your partner might do nothing.

When we stop trusting another human being, enough is enough.

Time doesn’t seem to help

Sure, trust can be rebuilt, but if you have spent the last year unsuccessfully trying to find that trust again, it’s time to end your relationship.

If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, an important aspect of the relationship is broken.

It’s one thing that bad things have happened in the past, but if you have no faith in the future, it is truly time to step away from the fire.

3. The communication has completely broken down

Being able to communicate in a fruitful way is one of the most important parts of having a healthy relationship.

Good communication is when you feel heard and understood. You feel like your partner takes your opinions and needs into consideration and acts accordingly.

If your partner doesn’t act on what you are telling them, it’s not good communication.

Constant disagreements

If the two of you start fighting as soon as someone brings up a sensitive subject, the communication is not working.

When you can’t communicate with your partner, you can’t work through problems. That’s why communication is such a big part of knowing when it’s time to call quits.

4. You don’t feel any enthusiasm about the future anymore

If you are dreading the future and you feel like this because of your relationship, that’s a huge red flag.

You might be worried about the future. Worried about where you are going to live, worried if you will have enough money and foremost, worried about what your partner will do next.

If you live in constant fear of what your partner is about to do, sorry to break it to you, but enough is enough.

Hope is the last thing to go

You should be enthusiastic about your future. The future is where we lay all our hopes and optimism.

If not, something is seriously wrong. Ask yourself what you are afraid of? Your fear will tell you a lot about your relationship and what you feel deep down.

5. You start wondering if your partner is a narcissist

By this point, I’m sure plenty of people wonder why anyone would stay in such a miserable relationship.

If we are talking about your relationship, you might wonder yourself why you haven’t walked away already.

The reason for this is that most toxic relationships start out amazing, before things quickly disintegrate.

We get hooked on the love-drug our partner was so generously handing out in the honeymoon phase. We overlook that things have been bad for months or even years because the beginning was so intoxicating.

Because you vividly remember how sweet and fun your partner used to be, you are always stuck, hoping for him to become that person again. You probably make up all sorts of excuses for reality, as it is now. Maybe you even blame yourself.

If you feel this confusion, your partner might be a narcissist. The fact that you are wondering if your partner is a narcissist, is already a bad sign in itself.

The narcissist usually love bomb their victims in the beginning; read my article with plenty of examples of love bombing. You should also check out my comprehensive guide about manipulative behavior.

If you want to know exactly how problematic you partner is, read my article 14 Unmistakable Red Flags That Mean You Could Be Dating A Narcissist.

6. Your partner doesn’t appreciate you

Maybe you are reading this list and thinking that your partner is not that bad after all. It’s not like he is abusive.  

The only problem is that he doesn’t seem all that interested in you anymore. It is clear that he has started to take you for granted.

You don’t do fun things anymore. He rarely asks you interesting questions. If anything, he seems mildly annoyed with your presence.

The two of you have hit a slump. Who knows for how long things have been this stale?

The two of you can absolutely fix this problem. But if he is also suffering from the point below, the relationship might have come to an end.

You cannot row this boat on your own.

7. Your partner doesn’t try to change

Whatever the issue is in your relationship, one of the signs that enough is enough, is that you have told your partner about what you are dissatisfied with, but he hasn’t tried to change.

Change can be hard, and it can take a long time to get there.

But effort is fairly easy to spot.

The absence of effort, unfortunately, means that your relationship is on its way down the drain.

Without effort, progress is not possible.

Change is necessary

If it was one year from now and absolutely nothing had changed, would you want to stay in your relationship?

Make a deadline for when you want the things you are dissatisfied with to have been resolved. If everything stays the same, it might be time to pull the plug. Painful as it might be.

8. When your relationship affects other areas of your life negatively

Have you lost your friends? Are you on your way to losing your job? Does your family feel like a bunch of strangers you rarely talk to? Do you have a hard time remembering the last time you exercised and took care of your health?

One of the definitions of addiction is that it affects other areas of your life negatively. I would say, the stronger the addiction, the more chaos in all other areas of your life.

A toxic relationship works exactly like an addiction.

You lose control of other areas of your life.

All 7 areas of our life are important

There are seven areas of our life that are all important. Social & Family Relationships. Career & Educational Aspirations. Financial Security. Physical health/ leisure. Society & contribution. Mental, emotional & inner well-being.

If you wonder if enough is enough, go ahead and give yourself a score in all the areas. Also, ask yourself if your romantic relationship affects the other areas negatively? You will have your answer.

9. You can’t remember the last time you were happy

You will know that you are in a toxic relationship if you never feel happy.

The few times you do feel good, you are always worried something bad is going to happen.

Do you recognize yourself in this dance of treading on eggshells?

Are you fearful?

Do you feel like your happiness is out of your control? Do your partner affects your mood so that you always feel sad and worried?

Sure, you might break up with your partner and still feel unhappy. But at least you will know that this unhappiness is on you.

You will be able to tell the difference and. I can tell you that the distinctions are satisfying.

10. You don’t feel like a priority in his life

The time when enough is enough can also be much more subtle than the things I have mentioned above.

We want to be important to the person we love. We want to matter. When this is not the case, we slowly lose faith in the relationship.

Do you don’t get to spend as much time with your partner as you would like? Does he seem to be too busy with everything else to show you any real care and interest?

To not be seen is damaging to your self-esteem

We need a lot from the person who claims to love us. Such is the nature of love. Not everyone is capable of giving us as much as we crave. It’s ok to want everything and it’s Ok to walk away if you feel like you are not getting it.

Some people simply don’t have the capacity to love you the way you want to be loved. Since love is such a big part of our life, I don’t think you should settle for less.

A Final Note

It’s hard to walk away from the dream. You probably know a lot of why your partner is not capable of giving you what you want. You make excuses for him and those reasons feel valid, maybe even ok. But then you feel sad again and you start wondering if there is something better out there.

In the end, only you can know the answer to when enough is enough. There is no magic line. But when you do choose to end a relationship, you do it out of love for yourself.