What does a 40 year old man want in a relationship?

We answer all those important questions about men in their 40s

You have met a man, and he is 40 years old, or older. Now you have a lot of questions about 40 years old men. Do you wonder how dating a man in his 40s differs from dating younger men? You are probably asking yourself, what does a 40-year-old man want in a relationship?  

Men in their 40s, sex, texting, and falling in love

This article takes a close, in-depth look at what men want in their 40s. In what way are they different from younger men? What are their specific cravings and pain points? We are answering all the questions you could possibly have about dating a man in his 40s

Consider this your manual to dating a man in his 40s.

Men in their 40s are great

First of all, men at this age are generally a good catch.

If you can convince a man in his 40s that you are the right woman for him, you are in for a treat. Men in their 40s are more than ready to fall in love.

When a man has reached his 40s, he usually knows what he wants and how to get it. He is more confident in who he is.

Men in their 40s are successful

Many men in their 40s are successful, both when it comes to their career and their financial situation.

Generally speaking, men at this age are happier and more content with their lives and thus ready for a serious, committed relationship when the right woman comes along. Congrats, and let’s get this ball rolling.

For a fun take on getting a rich man check out our article What does a rich man look for in a woman?

What does a 40-year-old man want in a relationship?  

Let’s take a look at the things a 40-year-old man wants in his woman and see if you tick the boxes.

He wants shared interest

One very important aspect for men at this age is to be with someone who shares their interests. It’s also very important for men at this age to date someone who shares their values.

Men in their 40s value someone who is similar to them and someone interested in doing a lot of the things he is interested in. So if you have common hobbies, he will appreciate that side of you.

He wants someone with a similar lifestyle

So when you ask yourself, what does a 40-year-old man want in a relationship? The most important thing he does look for is someone who has similar interests to him.

Speak about the important things

Men in their 40s have seen enough of their relationships fall apart because of the fact that they were not similar enough to their previous partners. They have also had relationships fail because their values didn’t line up. So make sure you speak to him about your values.

He wants someone who fits into his life

Let’s be honest, the older we become, the more set we become in our habits. Thus a 40-year-old man is much more likely to look for compatibility.

Younger men tend to value looks and attraction higher than compatibility. A 40-year-old man will evaluate how you fit into his life. He will also evaluate if he fits into your life and if he can give you what you want.

This is especially true if one of you, or both of you, have children.

He wants someone who is honest and loyal

Men in their 40s value honesty and loyalty to a higher degree than younger men. They crave someone who can be a true companion and share their thoughts freely.

A 40-year-old man wants trust in a relationship.

Kindness and intelligence

For men in their 40s, it is also increasingly important to date someone who is kind.

On top of this, men in their 40s are looking for intelligence. A younger man might fall for beauty, but an older man will value conversation above a lot of other things. Make sure you bring that sharp brain of yours.

He wants someone who is positive

Fun is one of the most common qualities men of all ages mention when talking about their dream woman. One thing they mean by this is that they want someone who will not be too negative.

Watch out for negativity

Negativity has the ability to suck the joy out of life. Men in their 40s don’t want this. Men in their 40s often emphasize that they want someone upbeat and positive.

They are looking for someone with a positive outlook on life and someone who can deal with her problems without too much emotional drama.

Can a 40-year-old man fall in love?

A man in his 40s can absolutely fall in love. Sure, he might have been afraid of commitment or love earlier in life, but guess what? People change.

Don’t use his past as a way to judge who he is now. Men also go to therapy and work on themselves. The older a man gets, the more he longs to fall in love.

He does want a relationship

Generally speaking, men do want a relationship, which is true for men in their 40s as well. Even if he was a player in his younger days, that’s not who he is now.

He is in his 40s, and he is ready to fall in love, and even better, he is ready to commit.

A man in his 40s who doesn’t want to commit

The only exception to this is if he tells you that he doesn’t look for a relationship right now or that he isn’t ready for a relationship. If he says one of those phrases or something similar, take his words for it.

Trust him, listen to what he is telling you.

It’s the truth because he believes it to be the truth. He doesn’t want a relationship.

If you find this truth hard to accept, read our article: Confessions of an emotionally unavailable man, for a valuable male perspective on this issue.

Do you really want to put in the work to change him?

Sure, you could be the one who manages to change him. It’s not impossible. But do you want to try and convince someone, or do you want someone who feels enthusiastic about the prospects of a life with you?

If your 40-year-old man is not ready for a relationship, step away from the fire and find someone who would absolutely love to be in a relationship with you.

Trust me, he is out there, waiting to meet you.

How to tell if a 40-year-old man likes you

Sometimes we think that someone in their 40s should be confident enough to show their feelings and pursue you full force. But don’t assume that just because he is older, he knows what he is doing.

He could have had long relationships and been out of practice when it came to flirting.

The major signs that a 40-year-old likes you

When trying to figure out if someone likes you, look at his behavior as a whole.

If he makes an effort to spend time with you, he likes yous. If he asks you questions and tries to find out more things about you, he likes you. If he likes looking at you, he likes you. For more ways to tell if someone likes you, read our guide How to tell if someone likes you.

Men in their 40s and texting

Men in their 40s might not be as used to this little thing called texting. So if you are dating someone in his 40s, don’t use his texting habits as an indication of his interest. He might not just like texting.

Don’t be afraid to text first, even if he hasn’t texted you. If he’s not interested, you will find out soon enough, no need to try and extract this information from his texting habits.

Does he make you a priority?

Instead of focusing on his texting frequency, ask yourself if he makes plans with you and if he follows through?

If the answer is yes, he does like you. How we spend our time is a clear indication of what we want.

What does a 40-year-old man want in bed?

Let’s talk about sex. What does a 40-year-old man crave when it comes to the bedroom?

He wants someone who is honest about her desires. He also prefers someone confident. Don’t worry about your body or how you look. A man in his 40s knows what a woman looks like.

An older man also appreciates someone who takes the initiative, so don’t be afraid to instigate sex.

Bring your brain to the bedroom

Turn him on by appreciating him. The biggest aphrodisiac is being seen and liked for who we really are.

Men in their 40s value intelligence to a higher degree, so when you think about sex with this man, factor great conversation into the equation.

Show him your appreciation

The more you can give him the sense that you are impressed by his achievement, the more he will want you.

Younger men might want a challenge. Older men want someone who stimulates them intellectually.

Try out new things

He is open to experimenting sexually. Older men are often more experienced and more confident in bed, so don’t be afraid to suggest different ways o spice up the sex. Whatever you suggest, he most likely will be down for trying.

Older men, to a greater extent, understand the importance of keeping their woman satisfied. For more ideas, read our article 13 Things guys like in bed but won’t ask for.

A Final note

Men in their 40s are not all that different from other men. All men want a woman who is fun to be around, vulnerable, and a good companion. If this man is the right man for you, this is exactly what you will bring to the relationship.