We help you decide whether you should go for that hot young guy
Looking closer at my dating history, it appears that I have a thing for younger guys. I find them attractive, exciting and energizing, but I’ve also broken up with quite a few of them. Thus I’m the right person to ask about the pros and cons of dating a younger guy.
The pros of dating a younger guy
Most likely, he will admire your achievements which is a good confidence booster.
You will also have to try new things and explore new hobbies.
Generally speaking, you will have much more fun and enjoy your life way more.
The cons of dating a younger man
You may encounter emotional immaturity.
He might also be intimidated by your success and experience.
If you choose the wrong kind of younger guy, you might end up being a mother rather than a girlfriend.
What can you expect?
If you are considering whether you should give a chance to that cute young guy shamelessly flirting with you, let’s look at what you can expect from dating a younger guy.
The social stigma around women who are dating younger men
I set off writing this article thinking that it would all be fun and games, writing about the pros and cons of dating a younger guy.
We will be talking about exciting sex adventures, increased energy levels and perhaps wash some of my dirty laundry (yes, most of my ‘old’ flames were younger than I am).
However, the more I was gathering opinions and information on the web, the more annoyed I got about the social stigma and outdated preconceptions of what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to age differences in dating.
People do have a problem with a woman dating a younger man
It seems absolutely unnecessary (read- stupid) that news outlets still describe a ten-year gap as shocking.
While doing research for this article, I stumbled on some articles about Priyanak Chopra and Nick Jonas.
I am not very good at keeping up with the Hollywood couples, but the judgment that these two got made me extremely angry.
I don’t even care about them. It is the principle that bothers me. It also made me realize that there have been times in my life when I myself bent to those stereotypes and judgments.
Don’t let the social stigma get to you
For a moment, I contemplated writing a social piece and starting some sort of movement to break the ingrained stereotypes that society forces upon us. But then I remembered my limited activism skills and decided to revert back to exploring the pros and cons of dating a younger guy.
Forge your own path
My main message to you, however, is that you should never allow yourself to be affected by the archaic stereotypes that women can’t date, marry or be with younger guys.
Date whoever you want
No matter their age and no matter what the bitter ones around you mumble under their nose. We should be able to choose and fall in love with whomever we want.
Now, let’s dive into exploring what you can expect from dating a younger guy.
How much younger is he?
Let’s begin by agreeing on what we will consider a younger man.
I must be honest, I don’t really consider 2-3 years a big deal in terms of an age difference.
If a guy is just a few years younger, I would think of him as being my age.
There could be different scenarios, your man could be 5, 10, 15 or 25 years younger.
When it comes to the age difference between a woman and a man, the higher it is, the more likely that she will have to deal with raised eyebrows and judging looks.
The experience depends more on the guy than on his age
She might also occasionally raise her own eyebrows when her younger lover displays emotional immaturity. Or has different values and proclaims diametrically different future plans.
It could go either way, he might want children when she has already decided not to have any.
A deep connection
On the other hand, that same woman might be positively surprised by the beautiful connection she has with her younger man and how her libido has increased twofold.
There are certainly positive and negative things that come with dating a younger guy, but these all depend on the situation and the specific guy, not the age gap.
Strong connection doesn’t depend on the age
It is quite rare that we meet someone with whom we have a great emotional, physical and intellectual connection.
Sure, sometimes we get physical attraction and sometimes we meet someone whose intelligence blows us away. But most of the time we live our mundane lives swiping left or trying to survive those boring Tinder conversations.
Maturity doesn’t really depend on the age
So when we do meet someone special, it is exciting and inspiring.
We might be tempted to find out when their birthday is and how old they are, but all in all – the age gap shouldn’t matter. At least, not in the initial stages and it definitely shouldn’t be a deal-breaker if you’ve met someone who ticks all your boxes.
Age is just a number. You could be immature in your forties and be dating someone super mature in their twenties.
Relationships end for all kinds of reasons
Relationships fail for many reasons, and it is not the age gap that breaks them, although sometimes it could be.
More often than not, it is our expectations, illusions, incompatibility, personal traumas and fears, different values and future plans that break the relationship. And sometimes, it is just an unsatisfactory sex life.
Be brave
All of those are valid reasons. But if you are considering breaking up or not even starting a relationship just because you are worried about the age gap, I’d encourage you to reconsider.
Be brave enough to open yourself up and explore the future of that relationship.
Don’t let age scare you
I once gave up on an amazing guy just because he was 11 years younger. I was so wrapped up in worrying about his age that I forgot to appreciate the amazing connection we had.
He sailed off to his exciting millennial life adventures before I managed to deal with my own deep-rooted stereotypes. Let’s call him the one who got away.
Don’t let that happen to you. Give a chance to that young guy and explore if you could have something special. It could also turn out to be something very unspecial, but that won’t be because of his age.
The pros of dating a younger guy
Let’s look at some of the pros of dating a younger man:
- You are more likely to be admired for your achievements and experience, which could be a great confidence booster;
- It is true; you will most likely have a way more exciting sex life. Most younger guys have a higher sexual drive and are more likely to experiment.
- There is a big chance that you will have to try new things and explore new hobbies (not just in bed);
- From my personal experience, younger guys are more caring and sweeter. But again, this depends more on the personality of the guy than his age.
- Being with a younger guy will make you feel younger and more energized yourself.
- Oh, and you will most likely have so much more fun and enjoy your life way more.
The cons of dating a younger guy
Tempted to rush into it? Before you do, here is a list of a few cons to consider:
- You may encounter emotional immaturity, which could negatively affect your relationship.
- You may be at different stages in life and have different visions about the future. With this obstacle in mind, your relationship will have an expiry date.
- He might be intimidated by your success and experience.
- You might end up being a mother rather than a girlfriend.
- You may have to deal with social stigma and judgment.
- You may have to participate in activities and meet people that you have no interest in. The two of you may have different ideas on what is the best way to spend a Friday night.
Go for him
I could keep going and add items to both lists, I have a lot to say about the pros and cons of dating a younger man, but by now, you get the jest of this.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how young they are. There are far more important things to consider.
Follow your passion
All I am saying, go for the guy that excites you, with whom you have a connection and that is worth your time and effort. Let yourself have fun and see where the relationship takes you.
The age really doesn’t matter; it is the personality of the guy that will make the difference.
If you want to dive further into the question of whether he is the guy for you, check out our article How do you know if you are dating the right person?
If you want to know how a reversed age gap would feel you can check out our article Pros and cons with dating an older man.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.
