Relationships are overrated

7 strong reasons why you shouldn’t go for that dead-end relationship

Are you stuck at yet another boring couple’s dinner? Discussing the weather and the best lawnmower? Being coupled up and settled can make you long for those wild single days when every night was unpredictable. You can’t help by thinking that relationships are highly overrated.

Should you get into a relationship?

The truth is that many relationships are a real snooze fest. Not even the sex feels that great after a couple of months.

Or maybe you are single and wondering if you should pursue a relationship even if you don’t feel like it.

The answer is that relationships are overrated, generally speaking. The wrong relationship is most certainly a huge waste of time. Being stuck inside one of those bad relationships will lower your self-esteem and hinder your personal development.

The harsh truth about many relationships is that you are afraid of being alone, and because of this, you pour your energy into something that doesn’t fulfill you.

Many relationships are, in fact, a wasted effort

So, you have come here asking why relationships are overrated?

Romantic relationships often make you miserable, and if not that, they will bore you. It’s important to know why relationships can be a waste of time so that you make sure you stay away from those kinds of relationships.

Don’t believe all those people that tell you that no relationship is a waste of time. They will try to convince you that you always learn something. And sure, you learn a lot about what you don’t want in your life.

When you stay alone, you learn about yourself

But let me tell you that you can learn things on your own. The things you learn when you live in alignment with your true self and your passions are so much more fruitful than learning exactly why your specific relationship is a waste of your time.

The only thing you learn from the wrong relationship is self-contempt.

1. Relationships take time

In fact, relationships take a considerable amount of time. We don’t acknowledge this enough when we think about relationships. But the most important part of why relationships are overrated is the amount of time you spend on your significant other, versus what you get back in the form of joy and stimulation.

You always have to adjust your time to your partner

Your partner always wants to do things, they always want to spend time together. And that time, often idling in front of the television, is time you will never get back.

Or sometimes it’s the other way around. You want to spend more time with your partner. So you are always waiting. Waiting for phone calls and their presence in your life. Your relationship is you being stuck in the waiting room instead of living your life.

Regardless of your situation, the result is the same; your time becomes a prisoner of your partner.

2. Relationships take energy

When we are single, we are often more productive.

We know what we want to achieve, and our whole being is focused on achieving exactly that.

A relationship takes energy on a lot of different levels, and sometimes there is not enough energy left to do the things that are truly meaningful to us.

You are not in control of your happiness

Another reason why relationships are overrated is that you are not in control of your own happiness. When we are in a relationship, our mood often depends on our partner’s mood.

We don’t have full control over our emotional landscape, and we are constantly adjusting to someone else’s feelings.

You lose yourself

Our mood also starts to depend on how our partner feels at the moment. We become co-dependent. Because of this mechanism, we lose a bit of ourselves every time we enter a romantic relationship.

Many people check their partner’s emotional temperature before they check their own. They don’t even know what they feel anymore.

Step away from the relationship-train and get your life back

When you take away your partner, you take away all of this. Your life becomes yours again. Your emotional well-being becomes yours to control again. Both the highs and the lows depend mostly on you when you are single.

In a relationship, it’s easy that you get stuck in a pattern of trying to please the other person. This usually takes a tremendous amount of energy.

You will work hard trying to make your partner happy, and you will call it love. But make no mistake, all that energy you spend trying to please your partner would be spent trying to achieve something more meaningful if you were indeed single.

3. Relationships cost money

Not many people would mention this aspect, but a relationship often drains your financial resources.

You spend money doing things with your partner that you wouldn’t otherwise have done. You might be a bit bored, so you spend money trying to cheer yourself up.

A relationship is often a project that needs money as fuel; a new apartment, holidays, lengthy and expensive trips to IKEA.

Relationships determine career decision

In many relationships, you also adjust the place you live and your career in accordance with what’s best for your partner. You are not as hungry for approval, so you don’t work as hard or take as many risks.

Those decisions cost you the income you could have had. When you don’t have a relationship, you often have enough time to work on your side hustle or work extra on your normal job.

Somehow all those hours you don’t spend on a relationship become money when you are single.

4. Relationships hinder the relationship you have with yourself

When we are coupled up, we often get so focused on the other person and ourselves in relationship to the other person that we forget the very important relationship we have with ourselves.

We become focused on our partner and their needs. Often we stop reading and developing ourselves as much as we did before the relationship.

You don’t get enough alone time

We don’t have time to spend solitary hours with ourselves.

All our free time is dedicated to the relationship and our partner. Because of this, the relationship we have with ourselves greatly suffers.  Thus if you want to develop yourself, relationships are overrated.

5. Relationships hinder your friendships

Another aspect of personal development is our friends. They stimulate us and challenge us and bring a certain newness into our life. But when we are in a relationship, we don’t get the same flow of new ideas and new interesting friendships.

Some friendships die altogether

Friends often take a backseat when we are coupled up. Some of your friendships even crumble down and die. And with every dying friendship, a piece of you dies.

In honor of great friendships (because those really make life richer), read our articles The secrets to strong friendships and How to make new friends in your 30s.

6. Relationships are boring

Let’s be honest, romantic movies make it look fun. The reality is much more lackluster.

Spending that much time with another person becomes boring after a while. On top of that, the huge comfort level that every relationship brings hinders us from doing exciting and challenging things in our free time.

We just stay at home. In the beginning, we are happy and content, but as the love-drug wears off, this existence becomes increasingly dull.

We try date nights and a new hobby to try and spice things up. But those activities just don’t bring the amount of fun we lust after. Because the real truth, which many people would never admit to, is that relationships are overrated.

7. A lot of relationships are toxic

The only thing worse than a boring relationship is a toxic relationship.

A lot (and I mean a lot) of relationships are toxic, or partly toxic. When you are part of a couple, it’s easy to develop negative, destructive habits. The two of you might fight a lot, be jealous (sometimes for a good reason), be passive-aggressive toward each other, or simply just ignore each other.

Bad relationships are everywhere

There are a million ways to have a really bad relationship. I’m sure you had a couple already. Think back to some of your previous relationships and remember all the things you don’t miss with those relationships. You will quickly realize that relationships are overrated.

For more information about toxic relationships (make sure you are not stuck in one), check out our article Ending toxic relationships.

Take a break from relationships

If you agree with everything I have told you so far, I think we both know that it’s time for you to take a break from relationships. You could even take a break from pursuing love at all.

We wrote a highly popular article about Giving up on love. Instead of spending your time nurturing a relationship, spend that time having fun with yourself.

Have a great relationship with yourself

Spend that time challenging yourself to learn new things and experience new countries.

Use your time wisely by going on adventures and pursuing the passions that make your life rich and unique.

Focus on the things you want to achieve

You might object that being single is not all that fun either. I totally agree.

To be happy and content, regardless of your status, the important thing is that you focus on the things you feel strongly about. Only you have the key to your happiness.

If you want to have more fun, I recommend our article How to be a more charismatic woman. Because charismatic people always have a lot of fun.

A final note

You can choose to pursue a relationship, but you should know that this pursuit always comes at a cost.

In many cases, the price you pay is simply not worth the short-lasting happiness of romantic love.

When you are in a relationship, you will have to compromise with your life goals. You will have to spend a crazy amount of time just hanging out with one single person.

Don’t jump into a relationship without seriously considering the price you pay. To answer your question, relationships can be overrated and a waste of time. You should not give up your freedom easily.