A comprehensive guide with lots of strategies
To make someone fall in love with you; pure witchcraft or simple psychology?
The truth falls somewhere in between. Combine these strategies to make the best of your chances. With a little dose of magic, you will achieve your goal and have your target dreaming about you and only you.
The crash course to awakening those butterflies
Insert yourself in their everyday life since exposure is crucial to make someone fall in love with you.
Be positive, listen actively to what they have to say.
Point out similarities between the two of you.
Be mysterious and unpredictable since we get more addicted to an unexpected reward.
Ask for their advice or help.
And finally, make your target feel unique.
Can you make someone fall in love with you?
Sorry for the clickbait, and time for a reality check; You can’t make someone fall in love with you.
But you probably already knew that.
Change the things we can control and let go of the things outside of our control and that whole thing. You don’t have to be a 12-stepper to realize the wisdom behind that sentiment.
Make the best of your chances
What you can do is increase the likelihood that someone will indeed fall in love with you. In this article, I will show you how to do exactly that.
Let’s start out with the basics of how to make someone fall in love with you
First of all, let’s get the easy stuff out of the way. Maintain eye contact just for a second longer than what feels comfortable. Eye contact is a great attraction riser. Make sure you stay focused on his eyes for as long as it takes to describe his eye color in a bit of detail.
Smile a lot, much more than what you think you should be doing. Your smile makes the other person want to smile, and when they smile, the smile itself will release happy hormones in their body.
Make sure you touch him
This is a very powerful tool. I know it might feel too gimmicky, but it totally works. Men respond very well to touch. If you don’t feel comfortable, or if it’s inappropriate, with a lingering touch. Make it a very light touch, one he hardly notices but still picks up on subconsciously.
Exposure is crucial
Another obvious thing about making someone fall in love with you that many people don’t take into consideration is that you need time together with the other person.
The more exposure we have for someone, the more positive we feel towards them. This is true if the feelings were positive, to begin with. Otherwise, the result can be the opposite.
You crave what is recognizable and familiar
This mechanism is why so many people fall in love in their workplace. It is also the reason why companies spend so much money on commercials.
Insert yourself into their everyday life
So to make someone fall in love with you, the thing you have to do is insert yourself in their life.
Start with the same hobby as them, suggest a common project, apply for a job that will make you become their colleague.
Move to the same part of the town as they live in, that way you can constantly run into them at the neighborhood cafes and supermarkets.
out-of-the-box thinking is required
The last point might sound a bit extreme. But if you are serious about making someone fall in love with you, at the very least, start frequenting the same places as they go to.
Make it natural, though. Don’t come across as creepy.
Achieve this by being the first to withdraw from an interaction with your “target.”
Also, don’t be too available. Remember that we all want what is just out of reach.
Be Positive
People are drawn to positive people. They are drawn to passion, to laughing, and fun activities.
We all want sunshine and joy in our life. We want someone who seems to have a lot of fun.
And in the spirit of positivism. Take a moment and think about the people you feel drawn to (both men and woman) and ask yourself why you feel drawn to them?
Let me guess.
They like you
Because they laugh at your jokes?
People don’t remember what you said or what you did. What they do remember is how you made them feel.
If you make them feel great about themselves, they will like you for it. The better you can make them feel about themselves, the more they will like you.
Listen Actively
Most people are not really listening.
Instead, they are thinking about what they are going to say themselves as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Be aware of this attraction killer and practice your listening skills. Stay in the moment and be completely focused and present.
Becoming better at listening, really listening, will benefit all of the different areas in your life. And listening is a skill that’s not that hard to learn. All it takes is practice and determination.
We all crave undivided attention
There is something mesmerizing about really being listened to. Especially if the person listening to us seems to think we are intelligent and entertaining.
Point out similarities
Spend most of the time actively listening to your love interest, and when you do talk, point out a way in which you are similar to tie them even closer to you. People are drawn to other people with similar values and similar experiences.
Make them feel like you understand them
Another trick is to not only listen but also show that you understand. Most people do this naturally when they interact with someone. But you can dial it up a bit when you want someone to fall in love with you. Empathize with what your love interest is saying.
Ask advanced but relevant questions to show that you are present in the conversation. And to further bound the two of you together, share something secret about yourself, be open and vulnerable.
Make someone fall in love with you by being Unpredictable
This is cruel but one of the best strategies.
Unpredictable behavior is more addictive. I’m sure you have been the victim of this mechanism at least one time in your past relationship history.
Unpredictable behavior releases a dose of dopamine the same way gambling does. The thrill of an unexpected reward makes us continue to gamble.
They will try and figure you out
On top of that advantages, the more we think about someone, the more likely we are to fall in love with that person. By being as unpredictable as possible, you force the other person to think about you. They will struggle to try to understand your behavior. And that struggle demands brain capacity.
Mystery is fun
And let’s face it, we all like a mystery.
We like to have clues dangled in front of us and try and solve them. Just look at all the crime fiction. Or just look at any great move. Storytelling is about raising questions and not answering them right away. Keep the audience engaged. Humans love suspense.
Be unpredictable, even to yourself
How to do this in a concrete situation depends on your relationship with the person. But a good starting point is to ask yourself what you would normally do and then do the opposite.
Ask for their advice or help
All humans like to feel needed.
We like to feel that we make a difference in someone’s life. If the other person values us and our input, we are more inclined to value the relationship. This is particularly true for men. That’s just a result of how they are brought up.
Make him feel like he makes a difference in your life
Men get a lot of praise and love when they are helpful. Thus, they are conditioned to want to be at your service. Tap into this mechanism by asking him for his help. You need him.
Be independent
This point is partly in contrast to the point made above. But it’s just the combination of the two things that makes you attractive to someone. Think of it as how you would use both salt and sugar in the same recipe.
We want to progress
Humans always want something that’s just out of reach. This goes back to how we evolved into what we are today.
We did this by always looking to expand our control and our knowledge. We did it by aiming higher and reaching for something we weren’t sure we could get.
Make him feel unique
By being independent, you show him that you just don’t need anyone. You need him in particular.
You are not a black hole of neediness. But if someone as splendid as he comes along, you might consider choosing him and inviting him into your life. That is if he works for the position. You are the price, not the other way around.
In the research phase for Her Brilliant Friend we interviewed more than 300 men. Many of them mentioned that they wished women were more independent and took more initiative.
How to proceed when you want someone to fall in love with you
Balancing the fine line between everything above, you can be certain that you have increased the chances that someone will indeed fall in love with you.
You have to do everything I have listed without coming across as fake. Because, well, everyone likes someone with integrity.
I know it’s not an easy task. It was a struggle even for the master seducer Cleopatra. If everything above seems like a lot of work, there is another way to do it. Let’s call it strategy 2, and it’s easy and straightforward.
Just focus on improving yourself.
Read a lot. Exercises a lot. Be passionate. Be kind. Be curious. Be the best version of yourself.
Get out in the world and meet new people.
If you follow strategy 2, you can be sure that when the right person comes along, he will fall in love with you.
How to make someone fall in love with you part 2 – The advanced level
How to make someone fall in love with you is such an excellent question, and the answer is so plentiful and varied. A lot of times, the answer is even contradictory. Thus, this fun and exciting question are hard to navigate.
We simply had to do a follow-up article to help our readers even more. Let’s dive in.
Don’t only think about your target
Since you are googling “How to make someone fall in love with you” I suspect you already have a target in mind. You plan to use every technique your google search will yield to try and make him see you the way you see him.
Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I wish you the best of luck.
Become someone special
At the same time, I want to take this opportunity to point out that you shouldn’t be reading up on those techniques only when you have someone in mind.
You should try and integrate attractive behavior into your personality permanently. With a bit of practice, these techniques should become second nature to you.
Ensure you have choices
By doing this, you will not only manage to get that special guy to fall in love with you, but you can also get many guys to fall in love with you.
When we have choices, we make the best decisions.
Poor decisions stem from a lack of choices. Your decision about who to invite into your life as a romantic partner is very important. A lot of your future happiness and well-being stands and falls with that choice.
Fall in love with yourself
To make someone fall in love with you is, in many ways, about you falling in love with life and with yourself.
Someone who takes care of themselves and values themselves, and has a lot of fun, even when on their own, is someone worth falling in love with. It’s also someone worth being in a relationship with.
The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself
Make him commit
On a side note, if you want more commitment from the guy you are dating, check out How to make him commit without asking.
Show him that you like him
We naturally like people who like us.
This is especially true for people who are mentally healthy and happy with their life. They are drawn to the kind of energy that comes from a mutual liking.
Only people who don’t think they deserve love like people who don’t like them back. Thus, if you want to make someone fall in love with you, make sure you show him you like him.
Make him notice you
Start slow, smile towards him, laugh at his jokes, ask him questions, show that you value his opinion, and invite him to social gatherings.
Start flirting
But liking someone as a friend is one thing. Liking them in a romantic way is quite different and riskier.
Your feelings can get hurt. Your ego can get hurt. You put yourself out there and risk being rejected.
This is the time when you have to be brave and take that risk.
After a while, when you have built up enough courage, you have to take a chance, call it a leap of faith, and show him that you are attracted to him. Because attraction and sexual desire are powerful, it’s a magic ingredient to make someone like us.
Show him your desire
Touch him, do something flirty, get closer. Do something that will make him surer about your sexual feelings towards him.
If the two of you are dating, simply tell him that you like him or that you are starting to fall for him.
To improve your flirting skills, check out our article How to flirt with a man.
Don’t like him
In a perfect world, love would work as described above. We show a man that we like him, and he starts liking us. But the reality of life is a bit messier and more complex. We always want what we can’t get.
Is this true? If it is true, why is it true? Why would we, as humans, indulge in such self-sabotaging behavior?
Dont waste your time on the wrong person
To make someone fall in love with you, it’s important to understand this counterintuitive mechanism of liking someone who doesn’t seem all that interested.
It’s also important to know how you can befit from this.
First of all, some people are just destructive. They do the push-and-pull dance with no intention of getting into a real relationship. Don’t waste your time on such a person.
Perceived value
What you should do is hold back a little bit when it comes to your love interest. Because we all have a tendency to fall hard for people who are hard to get.
One reason for this is that we value something more if it is difficult to obtain.
Our struggle adds to the perceived value of that thing, whether it is a career, a house, or a partner.
Give the feelings time to develop
To get a good grasp of how you can play this mechanism to your advantage, imagine the opposite scenario. When someone likes us too much, too quickly, we don’t feel it’s about us.
You have probably come across your fair share of those kinds of men.
They don’t like the real you
They like you from the get-go. You haven’t had any time to show them everything amazing about you. They don’t know you. And thus, you feel their feelings are not about you.
Rather they have a woman-sized hole in their life, and now they want you to fill it. Only, you are not all that excited about this prospect. It is too easy.
Make him feel unique
When we fall in love, we want to feel that we have achieved something that not many people could have achieved. We are special to our partner. Super special.
We want to feel that our connection is one in a thousand.
This feeling takes some time to build up, and if you rush too quickly and fall too hard, he will not feel it.
Be hard to get
You should not play hard to get. You should be hard to get.
The reason for this is that you should evaluate someone carefully before you give them too much of your time. You should make sure he will add value to your life, not drain your resources. Weigh him and make him work towards deserving a spot in your life instead of the other way around.
Why men love bitches
I thought this concept was worth bringing up since many women are simply too nice in their interaction with men.
They bend themselves too much to satisfy his need, interests, and schedule.
They think this behavior will make him appreciate them. But the only thing that happens is the opposite. A man doesn’t value those kinds of women.
Men need a bit of resistance
There is no need to be too nice because men need a bit of resistance. Basically, they need to know that you will be completely fine without them.
Sherry Argov does a great job of describing how this mechanism works. She wrote Why men love bitches, from doormat to dream girl, a woman’s guide to holding her own in a relationship.
The book became a bestseller when it was published in 2002.
Who is the bitch?
Why men love bitches as a whole has a few outdated points. But the concept is worth considering when you want someone to fall in love with you. Sherry Argov wants to re-frame the word bitch. She doesn’t mean a typical bitch.
Instead, she means a woman who prioritizes herself and doesn’t give up too much just to be in a relationship. A bitch is someone who doesn’t give too much of her time to a man she just met. She has more important things going for her.
Know what you want
To achieve being this kind of bitch, you can do several things. Don’t be afraid to have an opinion and state your preference. Knowing what you want is actually more comfortable for the people around you.
That way, they know how to make you happy and don’t have to guess.
How to be the right kind of bitch
Sherry Argov also gives these tips: Be a bit mysterious by not always giving up your time when he wants to see you. Don’t always tell him what you are up to.
Don’t ask him where the relationship is going. Instead, let him wonder where the relationship is going. If he can’t predict your reaction, you will remain a challenge.
Power is the control you have over yourself
Stay focused on your life, even when you have started dating someone. If you do this, behave like a “bitch”; he will feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him.
Make someone fall in love with you by being Vulnerable
Now that we have established that you need a healthy amount of “bitchy” behavior to make someone fall in love with you, it’s time to understand that you also need to do the opposite.
To make someone fall in love with you, you need to be vulnerable. You need to invite him to get to know you on a deeper level.
When we meet someone, we are fun and easygoing. We tell them positive things about ourselves and our lives. We go on exciting dates. We make jokes and keep the conversation light. By doing this, we show our love interest the surface level of our personality.
Show him the real you
We want him to see us as strong and confident with a lot of things going on in our lives. This is all true and nice, but it’s not a whole person. It’s a heavily edited version of ourselves. It’s like meeting a carbon copy of someone, and that is not enough to fall in love.
Your struggles are you
When we get to know a person, we want to know them on a deeper level. Happiness looks the same in all people, but your struggles are unique for you. T
hey are what shaped you into the person you are today. The real person.
Make him open up to you
This mechanism obviously also works the other way around. Make him open up to you. Ask him about his struggles. Tell him things about you. Be personal. Let him in. Let him get to know the deeper layers of your personality.
When you are vulnerable and tell someone personal things about yourself, they feel closer to you. They understand you better.
It’s a treat when someone reveals something about themselves, especially if that thing is painful and has greatly affected their lives.
Be open
If you often find yourself returning from a perfectly fine date without having any feelings for the man in question, the reason could be that you haven’t allowed him to see the real you.
When we let someone in, they start liking us, but it is also at exactly that moment we start liking them.
We like people when we have shared intimate knowledge about ourselves with them. It’s how humans connect.
In conclusion
In this text, I have shown you how you need to utilize polar opposite strategies to make someone fall in love with you.
This can be confusing, and I’m sure there will be plenty of times when you make mistakes. Don’t worry. Just experiment and listen to your gut instinct.
To further improve your skills, think about how the strategies I have presented above were at work the last time you fell in love with someone.
This tactic will make you understand the different strategies better, and you will be able to work them to your advantage.
The right person will fall for you
If it turns out he didn’t fall in love with you, no harm done. He was not the right person.
The man who is right for you will fall madly in love with you. Don’t get stuck on trying to “get” one specific man. When we get stuck on someone, we limit ourselves.
Keep your freedom and keep your options open. To make someone fall in love with you should be a fun and playful process.
If you want to check out more of our articles, I recommend “How to make a move on a guy” and “How to tell if someone likes you.”
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.
