How to make him commit without asking

What you have to do and how to have the right mind frame

How to make him commit is an extremely popular question. I did a short post about “how to make him commit” for another site, and that post got more comments than all my other 30 posts together. Yes, that is how badly we women want to make him commit, preferably without even asking.

The short answer is as follows;

Use reverse psychology by not asking for commitment. Instead focus on enjoying the moment.

Don’t think he is the best; you should be the one evaluating him.

Be prepared to walk away if he doesn’t share your vision of the future.

Give him his freedom by getting along with his friends and giving him plenty of space to be himself.

Don’t give him exclusivity before you have commitment from his side.

Go on a trip to make him realize why you are important to him.

Conditions that need to be met for a man to commit

So, to please the general public, this will be an extensive long post, answering the question “How to make him commit without asking” one time for all.

A man will commit when these three conditions are met:

• He is truly ready for a relationship.
• He is sure that he can spend another ten years looking and not find anyone as amazing and special as you.
• He is sure that if he doesn’t commit to you and make you his, another man will snap you up and live happily ever after by your side.

He might never be ready to commit

It’s important to remember that some men will never commit.

It doesn’t matter how hard you work and which tricks you play. He is not just there yet.

He might never ever be ready to commit. Frustrating but true, and the sooner you accept that he is not going to commit, the faster you can move on.

Moving on means finding someone enthusiastic about committing to you.

You might not be the right woman for him

There is also the possibility that he is, in fact, ready to commit.

He just isn’t that into you.

For one reason or another, you are not a woman he sees a long-term relationship with.

Time to move on?

If you fear this is the case, you can check out our articles “How to get over your crush” and “How to get over your ex fast.” Because if he is not that into you, the best and most sane thing you can do is move on.

If you stick around and work too hard on trying to make him change his mind, the only thing you will succeed with is undermining your self-confidence.

White this rather big caveat, let’s dive into how to make him commit without asking

1. Use Reverse psychology

The harder you try to make someone do something, the more they resist.

This is certainly true for men and commitment. The more you ask him, the more he will retract.

What you instead have to do is to use reverse psychology. Stop asking him to commit. Stop mentioning anything that has something to do with commitment.

“Forget” to ask him to join you at different events that a presumed boyfriend would be attending.

Have fun and be present

Instead, focus your energy on being present. Enjoy his company and the moment the two of you are in. Don’t think about the future.

This is how many men do dating. They don’t go out looking for a girlfriend. They go out looking for fun. The woman who can provide them with the most amount of fun will be the woman he commits to.

Commitment can feel scary

Fun is nice; commitment is obligation.

Commitment is one day waking up and realizing that you are spending your life with someone you don’t even like as a person. When you think about it that way, you will be a bit more empathic towards all the commitment phoebes out there.

He will sense how you really feel

However, if we do something not inlined with who we are and what we want, we will become increasingly unhappy.

If you try and fake not being interested in commitment when in fact, you spend your nights googling “How to make him commit without asking,” your real feelings and intention will always leak through.

Keep your self-respect

He will sense that you are putting your own needs aside to satisfy his. In the worst-case scenario, he will take advantage of you and even have less respect for you.

I’ve seen this happen many times, and I don’t want it to happen to you. We respect the people who have respect for themselves.

Thus, don’t be casual for too long

Thus, you cannot let the fun and games phase go on forever.

One month to three months should be sufficient.

At some point, you have to ask him where the two of you stand and where he sees the future going.

Before we dig into that conversation, I have to present another important crucial point on how to make him commit without even asking.

2. Don’t assume he is the best

You get him to commit without even asking by realizing he is not the best, and he certainly is not the only one out there.

Many women get so swept away by the feeling of being in love with someone that they completely forget to critically evaluate the man in question.

There is another aspect to the dating phase that will increase the likelihood he will commit; Don’t act as if he has already won you.

Is he the right man for you?

Being more critical when you regard whether he is the right man for you is something that will help you on your quest to make him commit to you. Because we always want what is just out of reach. If he is sure he already has you. He will stop working towards getting you.

Reserve your judgment

Don’t think he is the best.

He might be a great man, but you are unsure if he is boyfriend material for you. You are still observing his behavior to try and figure out if he is the amazing well-rounded man you are looking for.

The jury is still out.

Keep your power to evaluate

You might object, claiming you should think he is the best. Why else would you want to make him commit?

Oftentimes, when we meet someone we like, we, as women, give away too much of our power.

The man in question can sense it. Your whole focus shifts over towards him, his interests, his life, his desire. This could be cute, for sure. But it is also a hell of scary.

We want to be loved for our uniqness

I’m sure you had a man like this in the past. A man that just wanted too much commitment too soon. Think back to that time.

How did he make you feel? Flattered? But I’m sure you also felt like his infatuation wasn’t about you. He didn’t want you; he just wanted a girlfriend.

You should be hard to get

A lot of time, especially when dating, we get so caught up in our feelings, and our wants that we completely miss how things feel for the other person.

It becomes about us, not about them, and that’s not attractive. That’s needy.

Have high standards

Instead, keep being critical, not towards him, but towards his role in your life. This is nothing you should try and fake. You should not pretend to be hard to get. (By not answering texts, for example.)

You should be hard to get.

Because you have high standards for the people you allow into your life.

You should be picky

The decision of whom you have as a partner is a critical question that will deter your general happiness for years to come.

The relationship with your partner will even determine how long you live. By choosing wrong, you are killing yourself. Don’t take this decision lightly.

Being alone is much better than being with the wrong partner.

3. Have the talk

If the two of you have been dating for a couple of weeks, and he seems to take plenty of initiative and enjoy your company but still hasn’t made anything official.

Well, it’s about time for you to bring up the subject. I know this is an article about how to make him commit without asking.

Thus, when you have the talk, don’t ask him for commitment. Simply state what you want and your ideal outcome for the relationship.

Be cool with a negative outcome

Be positive and enthusiastic about things in general and, in particular, the possibility of a future relationship between the two of you.

Make it clear that if he doesn’t share this vision, you will be fine with that. You are cool with his wishes.

Since you are sure that somewhere in the future there is a man that will share, your vision and that man will be the right man for you. This sort of confidence and “take no prisoners” attitude will make him value your company and what you bring to the relationship.

Don’t ask; simply state

Obviously, if he doesn’t want the same thing as you, you stop dating him and move on. I mean, completely move on.

You are not asking him for commitment. You are simply stating what you are interested in and enthusiastic about, and if he doesn’t share that, he is not your guy. Simple as that.

Don’t shy away from the talk for too long. If you do want commitment, you don’t want to spend your time together with a man who doesn’t share that goal.

Be autentic

It’s much better for your self-confidence to be clear and vocal about what you want. Be real with what you want. Everyone respects someone who knows what they want and who is not afraid to go after what they want.

He will most likely tell you his intentions

When asked about something, most humans are very straightforward and will tell you their true feelings and true intention.

If he wants a long-term relationship, he will tell you.

In addition to this, don’t only pay attention to what he says. You also have to pay attention to what he does. Does his action line up with someone who wants to be there for you, who wants to be your boyfriend?

Don’t expect him to change

Often we meet someone and fall in love and when they are great, everything is amazing.

The only thing is that they are not great all the time. This leaves us confused and, above all, wishing we could change them just a little bit.

But people rarely change. Trust him, and take his word for it if he tells you he is not looking for a relationship right now. Don’t try and change him.

Watch his actions

Unfortunately, if he tells you that you are special and important to him, but his action doesn’t line up with this statement, you have to trust his actions more than his words.

We can say things we know the other person wants to hear. Words are cheap like that, but our actions will always speak the truth. Because doing things shows what we really prioritize and what’s important to us. Our actions show exactly who we are.

This brings me to my next point:

4. To make him commit without asking; Be prepared to walk away

We always want what we can’t have. If this is a man that gives you some things but not everything, be aware that your brain plays a psychological trick on you. You want him more because he is tricky to get.

The times he gives you boyfriend-energy become more special and valuable because they are rare. But this is not a foundation for a real relationship. This is him bread-crumbing you all the way to a non-committed, non-relationship.

Making the right choice

What would you choose if you were forced to choose between him and a relationship?

The relationship, right?

I thought so. At the end of the day, if forced to make a choice, you don’t want him.

You want a real relationship.

Gently remind yourself that you don’t like him as much as you think you do. You just want what you can’t get.

You are responsible even for your subconscious choices

If you often get stuck meeting men who are not all that interested in commitment, remember that, on a subconscious level, you do the picking.

You choose him.

One of the reasons you chose him might have been that you don’t think you deserve a relationship, so instead of going for someone available, you subconsciously chose someone who wasn’t emotionally available.

Break the pattern

If this sounds about right, there is no need to despair. We all make this mistake from time to time, and there are 100 different ways you can work on your self-confidence. If you feel your patterns are hard to break, I recommend therapy.

Sometimes breaking up is the only solution

What you need to do right now is to walk away. Break up with this man. If he doesn’t want what you want, he is not the right guy. Do a clean break up, don’t try to be friends, and don’t stay in contact.

Take three months and focus on your life and when you feel ready, start dating other men. I know this sucks. When things feel particularly dark, comfort yourself with the fact that becoming less interested is one of the easiest ways to get him to finally commit.

Here are a few more Strategies to Implement when you want him to commit without asking

Give him his freedom

Men often associate being in a couple with losing their freedom.

Make sure he knows that’s not going to be the case with the two of you. In fact, being together with you will bring plenty of adventure and fun to his life.

If he wants to go out with his friends, be the first to tell him to enjoy himself.

Be satisfied white your life

To make him feel free, make sure you have your own life, a life you are happy with, full of passion and inspiration.

So when he is out enjoying himself, he feels confident that you are doing the same.

And when the two of you are back together, you have plenty of things to talk about. A man will commit to someone when he feels appreciated and valued. Make sure you give him plenty of appreciation, both for the things he does but also for the person he is.

Make sure you get along with his friends

Another important thing to make him commit is to get along with his friends.

The approval of his friends is very important for most men. (I’m guessing it’s the same with you.) The more impressed his friends are with you, the more impressed he will be with you.

Encourage his relationships with the people around him—for example, his friends and family.

Let him be himself

Don’t be egoistic in your pursuit of him. Don’t demand all his time. We all want someone who enrich our lives. Who make our existence fuller and better and more enjoyable, and on top of this, to give us the freedom to be exactly who we are.

To make him commit without asking; Don’t give him exclusivity

When they feel they meet the right man, many women give away their choosing power way too soon.

They do this by stopping dating and even noticing other men.

Instead of doing this, if you want to make him commit, don’t give him exclusivity until you have a commitment. By this I mean a commitment both in words and in actions.

100 other guys

Would you still want him if I gave you another 100 extremely attractive, interesting men? All of them eager to get to know you. You might answer yes, still high on the love rush.

But don’t be so quick. Take some time and evaluate him and think about his bad qualities.

Don’t choose him out of a lack of abundance mentality.

He is only one of your options

Love makes us blind.

Sometimes we focus so much on someone’s great qualities that we don’t see them for what they really are; one option, but not the only option.

Keep your options open. Take time to notice other guys in the world and realize fully that your current boyfriend-to-be is lucky to have you as his girl.

Dont give him your full commitment

On top of this, force yourself to get out there and enjoy the presence of other men. It doesn’t have to be a physical relationship but keep noticing other men. The man you want commitment from will sense that you are not fully committed to him, and he will be eager to make things official.

Go on a trip

As the old saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is particularly true for men. Many men need time on their own to contemplate what is important to them.

If you are always there complaining and begging for commitment, he misses out on the chance to miss you and realize what you bring to his life. Want to increase his longing for you? Check out our article how to make him miss you.

You are doing your own thing

If you don’t want to break up with him (you might not even be in a relationship), you can give him plenty of time on his own by going on a trip.

The longer the trip, the more effective the result. If you get a job offer in another city, taking it might be a good idea. Then he knows you are out there pursuing your passions and that you might never come back.

Go on a trip because you want to

The trip has the added benefit that he knows you are out there, having fun, meeting other men.

In the best of worlds, this will make him realize how important you are to him and that you will not be around forever unless he makes you his.

If this relationship was meant to be, a trip will make him miss you and change his mind about commitment.

Follow your heart

It is important to do this from a pure heart, without any intentional manipulation involved. People can sense when you are trying to manipulate them. You should go on a trip because it might be fun, and it will be in line with your interest and how you want to live your life.

If a side effect is him committing to you, that would be great. But you and all your future trips will be just fine without him.

A final note

There are a million men out there looking for someone to commit to.

Most men want someone truly amazing and special in their life. Most men want a girlfriend or a wife. Most men want a mother to their future children. Most men want children.

For a man to commit, he needs to feel that you are unlike all the rest. And the beautiful thing is that when you meet the right man, he will feel exactly like that about you.

He will feel inspired rather than pressured to commit to you.

Always let this knowledge lead your decisions, and you will have done everything in your power to make him commit.