How to make the first move on a guy

12 different sweet ways to make him yours

You like him. Does he like you? You have no idea. He certainly hasn’t made the move yet. You are starting to think that maybe you should do something, but what? Not to worry, in this article, we tell you everything you need to know about “How to make a move on a guy.”

Time to take the matter into your own two capable hands

The easiest way is to ask about his opinion on something. If you feel brave, you can give him a compliment.

Don’t be afraid to ask him for his social media contacts.

You can also be straightforward and ask him if he wants to go for a walk.

If you prefer to be more subtle, ask him about his interests.

And finally, to make him understand your intentions, ask him if he wants a kiss.

Does he seem to like you?

These moves are especially effective if you do have a sense that, yes, he does indeed like you.

Signs of this can be that he is always hovering around, asking questions and trying to get your attention.

Different ways to make the move

Or maybe he is a stranger and you just noticed him, and you got a feeling that he might be open to a conversation.

In this text, I will give you examples of how to make a move on a man in a public setting, if the two of you are friends, and finally; if you want to get laid.

Men are also full of doubt

Many men are just too shy and too insecure to make the move. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. And of relationships.

As a general rule, women make the choice.

For a lot of men, the thought of being sexually rejected is simply unbearable. So awful and scary that they will simply never make the move, ever. You might think that this sounds ridiculous. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

The world will hardly stop spinning.

Making the move is scary

But I challenge you to try making a move yourself. Then you will realize exactly what a nerve-racking experience it is. And the more you are emotionally invested in the other person, the harder it will be to make the move.

The more you like him, the more you will be trying to escape getting that final heartbreaking “No.”

Check out our article When should a woman make the move, to know more about when making a move on a guy is the right decision.

Is he too shy?

Another possibility why a man is not making a move might be that he simply doesn’t believe that you are interested in him.

When it comes to sex and relationship, even normally confident people can experience a lot of self-doubts. So if you suspect this is the case, making the move is a good move.

If you think he is shy, you can check out our article How to get a shy guy?

He might have already made the move

A third possibility is that he has, in fact, made the move.

The move was just so discreet that you didn’t even pick up on it.

Go over your interaction and think about things that could have been him making a move. For example; asking for your number, or asking about your weekend plans, or just keep coming around to hang out wherever you are.

If you are curious to find out if he likes you or not, and who isn’t? Check out our article “How to tell if someone likes you?“

Face the truth

If you have had enough of waiting around, it’s time for you to step up to the challenge. Regardless of your situation, you have decided that you are ready for the truth. You are ready to take matters into your own hands. You are ready to make the move.

What to do if your move falls flat

One little caveat, he might not reciprocate.

He might say no, he might take your hand away.

He might not kiss back. He might tell you he doesn’t have those feelings for you. Be OK with this outcome, don’t push him. Don’t make a scene. Own your desire.

Because someone who can have desire without being pushy is truly confident.

Give him time and space

If he says no, give him some time. He might change his mind. Attraction breeds attraction. If we know someone is attracted to us, there is a big chance we will start to become attracted to them. Just give him time to adjust, think it over, and make up his mind.

How to make a move on a guy

What are the best strategies to get the message across without scaring him off?

In a public setting such as a bar

Many women hesitate to approach men in bars or other public areas, but this does not have to be a big deal.

In fact, if all you ever do is sit around and wait for a man to approach you, then you might end up always dating the same guy over and over again. The guy who had made a habit of approaching women, nothing bad with that.

Be the one who picks

But you are missing out on a lot of great shy guys.

So change your mind frame and start being the one who instigates the conversation.

There is no need to be afraid of rejection from someone who doesn’t even know you. Approaching cute guys is a great way to learn how to make a move on a guy. Practice makes perfect.

1. Ask him for his opinion on something

People love to share their views on just about anything.

Ask him what’s a good place to have dinner in the area you are in. What to give your brother as a birthday gift? What he thinks about a current event.

Ask for his permission

You can start by saying; can I ask you a question? Thus getting his interest and his approval. And then give him any question. Be creative and come up with things that are relevant to you right now. Surely there are things you are wondering about.

2. State the obvious

Just say one simple sentence.

Bonus points if it’s fun, but it certainly doesn’t have to be.

Everything you have to do is state the obvious. For example, you can say; It’s very hot today. The train seems to be late. This drink is delicious.

Open up the conversation

You can say anything because what you say doesn’t matter. Because what you are really saying is; It’s OK to talk with me. I’m open to the idea of talking with you.

To a lot of men, this little encouragement is all they need. And for the ones that don’t pick up the conversation, your statement was so neutral, so you are still safe.

You can also be more direct and ask him; How is your evening going?

It’s pretty bold but also a very open-ended question.

3. Give him a compliment

Why did he catch your attention?

Was it the shoes? The shirt? The smile? The magazine he was flipping through?

Compliment him on something you observed about him. If he doesn’t take the bait, no worries. Compliments are a great way to spread positivity. If you do it often enough, you will obtain bravery and confidence and your approach will be charming.

4. Ask him for his contact

It has never before been so easy to exchange contact information with a cute guy. Just ask him if he has Instagram and there you go.

That you ask for his Instagram just means that you think he is cool and has a lot of things going on and you would like to know more.

You want to get to know him

If he doesn’t have Instagram (which could happen), he will offer you another way to get in contact.

If you don’t have Instagram, you will have to ask for his number. Just do it in the context when you talk about something of interest to the two of you. Nowadays, people exchange numbers all the time. It’s not such a bold move as it once was.

How to make a move on a guy

To a date

The two of you are spending time together, but you are not dating.

Probably you are around a group of friends. This happens often and is a great way to start a relationship. The problem is that you are not dating, and you don’t know where the two of you stand.

Is he even interested? Maybe you are just friends?

Time to find out

Time to find out by asking him out. Don’t be afraid to make a move on a guy in your circle of friends. Better to find out now if he is interested than a couple of months down the road.

1. Ask about his interests

You are probably already talking about what you like to do and what he likes to do.

Now it’s time to be a bit smoother and bolder. When you talk about a common interest, or something he is doing, just invite yourself.

Say something along the line; I would love to join and find out more. Be direct. If he is interested, he will follow up and make it happen.

It is really that easy to make a move on a guy.

2. Ask him if he wants to go for a walk

Asking him to go for a walk is good because it’s very concrete, but it’s also very open.

A walk can be anything. A walk is unassuming.

It’s also intimate and, at the same time, pressure-free. A walk is just a walk. A walk can also change everything.

You can still use this move if you are at an event together. It can be a very short walk.

If he declines for one reason or another, you know a bit more about where he stands.

3. Change the location

Not ready for a date yet?

Let’s make something that wasn’t a date into a mini-date. The only thing you have to do is come up with an idea that separates the two of you from the group. Just like a predator 😉

Ask for his company

Let’s say you are at a hotel, and the hotel has a fountain.

Ask him if he wants to go and check out the fountain.

Or if you are on a BBQ, you can say that you need to go and get something from the store and ask if he wants to come along. Just pick something suitable for whatever situation you are in.

4. Ask him if he wants to go on a date

Incredibly brave, I know. But it’s the brave moves that make us into more fearless versions of ourselves.

To overcome your fear, just tell yourself that in your whole long life, this is going to be the one and only time you asked a guy for a date.

Keep it simple

Think about the guys that have asked you for a date; they all put themselves out there. Now it’s your turn. You can ask him by text or face-to-face. Keep it simple. Just say; Do you want to go on a date?

Eight short words.

Let’s see if you are brave enough to say them.

How to make a move on a guy

To the sack

Sometimes we don’t care about the end result, such as getting a relationship. Sometimes we just want to get laid.

You found someone you could imagine having sex with; however, he doesn’t seem to catch on. Maybe he is interested, maybe he is not?

Practice makes perfect

But you have decided that it’s time to put the option out there. These kinds of situations, when you are not overly invested in the guy in question, are an excellent opportunity to practice how to make a move on a guy.

Try these techniques to close the gap.

1. Touch him

Touch is a powerful way to find out if someone likes you.

When it comes to hooking up, the two of you exchanging touches is, in most cases, necessary for anything to take place. 

So go ahead, touch him and wait for him to return the touch. When he does, you can touch him again, with a little bit more force this time.

If he doesn’t return the touch, you can try one more time, but not more than that. Two is a charm. If he doesn’t replicate, you can always try another technique another night.

2. Change the location

When it comes to sleeping with someone changing the location is what you need to do. You need to isolate him from the pack. 😉

Alone with each other, both of you will be braver. Usually, no kiss can happen if there are many other people around, especially if they are people you know.

You create shared memories

Changing the location doesn’t need to be anything huge. If you are in a club together, you can just ask him if he wants to check out the other dance floor.

This move is also great because by changing the location, we create a longer story with someone. It’s a known trick for Pick Up Artists. Now you know. And you will notice when someone tries to pull this move on you.

3. Ask him if he wants a kiss

You are thinking about kissing him. His lips look yummy. But you are just not brave enough. Try asking him.

This can actually be very cute and endearing. Sometimes being verbal is easier and less vulnerable than actually making a physical move.

The risk is worth the reward

So go ahead and ask him if he wants a kiss.

If he says no or seems to be confused about the question, at least you know where you stand. The great thing with this move is that now he knows that you would like to kiss him, so he also has the option to think things over and be the one who instigates the kiss later on.

4. Kiss him

If you are very brave, you can go for his lips. It’s one of those things we all shall do at least once.

View the kiss as your masterclass in learning how to make a move on a guy.

If you are feeling less brave, remember that a kiss doesn’t need to be on his lips. You can also try and kiss him somewhere else. His ear. The back of his neck. Make it a very light kiss.

Only if the sexual tension is there

You should make this move if the atmosphere is very intimate and he has already touched you and he is sitting very close to you and constantly looking into your eyes.

In conclusion

Many great relationships have started with the women making the move, in one way or another.

Don’t be stuck in old-fashioned rules about who should do what. Men are also just humans and sometimes they are simply too insecure or too full of doubt.

When we are not making the move, our pool of available men is greatly reduced. Instead of waiting to be chosen, go ahead and be the one who chooses.

It’s 2023 and I’m sure all of us want to have amazing love stories and a lot of sex.

Be brave. Live your life in freedom. Challenge yourself.