How to know if a guy is flirting with you or just being friendly

13 signs to look out for

When a guy treats you with special care, you are bound to start wondering; is he flirting, or is he just being friendly? This guy can be a colleague or a friend. You might be interested, or you might not be interested. But you definitely want to find out if he is flirting with you or not. This article gives you 13 signs to be on the lookout for if you want to know if a guy is flirting with you or just being friendly.

Flirting or not flirting should be judged on a case-by-case basis

Everyone flirts in their own way.

What is flirty behavior from someone might mean nothing coming from another person. Some people are naturally more charming and charismatic. They want people to like them. When they are around you, they make you feel appreciated and seen.

Is he shy?

Some people, on the other hand, are very shy. If someone is shy, they might be inclined to try and hide their feelings, especially if they like you. However, there are many common determinations that will help you know if a guy is flirting with you or just being friendly.

Establish a baseline of behavior

You should start by checking how he behaves towards other people around him—especially other women. Try to establish his natural behavior pattern and check if you get a different treatment.

Furthermore, watch his behavior around you closely and see if any (or all) of these 13 signs are present?

You are going to like number 13, so don’t miss that one.

1. He touches you

Touch is the biggest indicator that something more than friendship is going on. Is he touching you in any way? The touch can be very brief and feel insignificant. But we as humans rarely touch each other by accident.

Some people are naturally touchier than others, so do check how touchy he is with other women to establish his baseline.

2. He always seems to be around

When we like someone, they become irresistible to us.

We might not even be aware of the extent we are drawn to this person. The process is both conscious and subconscious.

It’s kind of like you are the sun, and he is a planet, and he just can’t help himself but to circle around you.

He gravitates toward you

He might not even say anything, but if you often find him standing close to you, or showing up around you, chances are, there is more than friendliness going on.

3. He remembers a lot of things about you

Our memory is very selective, and to be honest, most of us are pretty self-absorbed.

We are preoccupied with our interests and our problems. T

here are a lot of things we simply don’t remember at all. But someone who is flirting with you will remember almost everything. He will refer back to things you mentioned weeks ago and remember insignificant details about you.

He is paying attention

This neat trick is especially great to look out for when it comes to shy guys. He might not flirt with you, but if he is interested, he will know a lot of things about you.

If you are interested in a shy guy, check out How to get a shy guy, for all the best tips and strategies.

4. He tries to find out if you are available

He could ask straight out if you are single. But most guys are not that obvious, so instead, he might ask about what you did during the weekend or about your living situation.

Any question aimed at finding out your relationship status lets you know that, most likely, this guy is flirting with you rather than just being friendly.

If you do like him, go ahead and deliver the information that you are single.

5. He makes it clear that he is available

If he is flirting with you, he will not be able to resist mentioning, in one way or another, that he is single and available.

This is his way of staying out of the friend zone. He wants to make clear from the beginning that something could indeed happen between the two of you.

When he refers to his single status, this is a good way to know that this guy is flirting with you rather than just being friendly.

He tries to hide his relationship-status

If he is already in a relationship, he will try and hide that fact as much as possible. He will not mention his partner and rather behave like he is single. For example, saying “I” when “we” would be more suitable.

This is a red flag, so please do yourself a big favor and stay away from a guy who diminishes the role of his wife or girlfriend. He is simply a bored idiot.

6. He teases you

When we like someone, we desperately long for them to give us an emotional reaction.

We want to make them laugh, but we also want to make them annoyed (in a playful way). By teasing you, he also prolongs your interaction and makes your interaction a memorable one.

He craves an emotional reaction from you

When a man teases you, he enjoys watching you have emotions. The more he teases you, the more likely he is flirting with you rather than just being friendly. We tease our friends occasionally, but someone who is flirting with you will showcase this behavior much more often.

7. He says your name a lot

People like to hear their names. Some even claim that our name is our favorite word in the whole language.

So, when a man likes you, he will try to please you by saying your name often. This is a good way to know if a guy is flirting with you rather than just being friendly.

He ties you closer to him

Saying someone’s name is also a way of tying them closer to you. By doing this, he is trying to form a close and intimate bond between the two of you. He says your name like just saying it gives him pleasure.

8. He tries to please you

One of the most obvious ways men are flirting is that they are on a constant lookout for ways to improve your life.

This behavior comes in thousand different forms and is generally easy to spot. When he tries to please you, it means that you and your needs are on his mind.

He wants to prove his value

He wants to improve your life and thus prove that he will bring value to your life. Examples of this might be; helping you with work. Sending you articles he thinks you would want to read or getting you a cup of coffee. Men derive a lot of pleasure from trying to serve a woman they like.  

9. He compliments you

If he likes you, he will see a lot of positive qualities in you, and will most likely point out some of those qualities.

He wants you to feel good about yourself. He wants to make you happy. And what better way to make you happy than to point out everything that is great about you?

He sees who you are

We do give our friends compliments from time to time. But if we are flirting with someone, we will increase the amount of positive feedback they get from us.

If he is shy, a compliment will mean a lot coming from him. He will have had to step outside his comfort zone to point out that he likes you and sees what is unique about you.

10. He really listens when you talk

This one is such a clear sign that it will let you know that a guy is flirting with you rather than just being friendly. Sure, we do listen to our friends, but the presence and attention we have for our friends are nowhere near how we behave when flirting with someone.

If this guy is just being friendly, you will feel his attention waver. If he, on the other hand, is flirting with you, he will keep his focus on you, and he will listen intently.

He is present

This is an excellent way to check for flirting signs when someone is on the shyer side. Shy people might not touch you or shower you with compliments, but they will be very present when you are talking.

For a quick test of his interest in you, just talk about something rather dull and watch his reaction. Is he still gulping down your words? well, there you go, he is flirting with you.

11. He laughs at your jokes

Laughter is such a strong and beautiful way to show appreciation for someone. When we are together with friends, we usually laugh a lot. The more a man laughs at your jokes, the more he is flirting with you. It is really as simple as that.

He thinks you are very funny

In fact, one of the most unmistakable signs that he is flirting with you rather than just being friendly is that he laughs even at your bad -not so funny- jokes. Or he laughs like you made a joke, even when you didn’t even make a joke.

We are not that generous with our friends. They better be funny if they want to entertain us.

When a man is attracted to a woman, all her jokes are automatically very funny to him.

12. He is often getting into your personal zone

He might not touch you. Between coworkers or friends, touching is often not appropriate. But if he is flirting with you, he will always try to get closer to you.

Often he will get into your personal space, and you will be able to feel the warmth from his body. He will stand a little bit too close; he will lean in even closer when you are talking.

He invades your personal space

When the two of you are passing each other, he will almost touch you. Every time you are forced to be close, you will be able to feel him being closer than what the situation demands, and then you will know that he is indeed flirting.

If you have a friend whom you like, check out our article How to get out of the friend zone with a guy. You know, you might not even be in the friend zone.

13. He flirts more with you in certain situations

So, this is going to be a good one; pay attention. Also, think about different ways you showcase this behavior when flirting with someone to understand this fascinating mechanism.

When we are flirting with someone, we are aware of that person, and we are aware of ourselves around that person. They are special to us. We are not entirely natural because we have a hidden agenda.

When we are with friends, we normally just are. We don’t think about our behavior, and our actions are not deliberate in the same way.

His behavior is not consistent

As a result of this, we behave differently towards our love-interest depending on the situation.

In some situations, we feel comfortable flirting with them.

In other situations, we prefer to treat them just like anyone. In other situations, we might feel so fearful that we all together ignore them. We might try and push them away as a way to protect ourselves.

His behavior towards you is not natural

Does he behave differently when you are in a group of people versus if the two of you are alone? He could flirt more with you when the two of you are alone or when you are in a group. Regardless of which, he is changing his behavior towards you, which is a sign that he is flirting with you.

When we like someone, our behavior around that person is calculated, and thus, we change it depending on the exact situation.

Let’s dig a bit deeper

Now that you know the different signs to look out for to really know if a guy is flirting with you or just being friendly, you have to look for how many of the boxes he checks and how often he displays the different behaviors. The more of the above behaviors he is showcasing, the more likely he is flirting with you.

The next thing you have to do is look out for consistency. Someone who is flirting with you will show several of these signs consistently over time.

Going hot and cold

If he is cold and distant one day or a couple of days, this doesn’t mean anything. He can feel insecure or distracted that day. On top of this, our feelings fluctuate; we might feel more or less attracted to our target depending on what’s going on with us.

If he is indeed flirting with you, he will always find his way back to the behaviors and patterns mentioned above.

The outcome of a lot of situations is up to you

Do you like him? Go ahead and assume that he is indeed flirting with you. Sure, you can be wrong, and he can reject you. But rejection is part of life and nothing you should take too seriously.

He might not be flirting with you, but if you start flirting with him, things might change. One of the easiest ways to attract someone is to show them that we are attracted to them. If you want more tips, check out our article How to create sexual tension with a man.

Some people just flirt

Is he a friend or a coworker? The fact that someone flirts with you doesn’t necessarily mean that they have a secret crush on you or that they want to take things further.

In the workplace, some people flirt to make their day more interesting. You might yourself be guilty of this behavior from time to time. After all, flirting is fun.

Other people might flirt to feel better about themselves. To find out if their flirting is more serious than about feeding their ego, you might have to make a move. Check out our article about How to make the first move on a guy.

If he is already taken and you still suspect him of flirting with you

Some people need a lot of sexual attention from the people around them.

They might even need people to fall in love with them. This attention makes them feel better about themselves. To be liked is, after all, a nice feeling. To be liked sexually is even better. A lot of men want to feel desired more than they want anything else.

They want excitement

To be desired by someone gives them an adventure in an otherwise pretty boring existence.

And how do you get someone to desire you? By flirting with them. You bait them by using all the strategies above, touching, asking questions, saying their name.

You make your target feel unique, and in return, you get that warm fussy feeling of someone being attracted to you.

This kind of situation is best to step away from. Flirting with someone who is already taken will fuck with your self-esteem. Don’t spend your precious time and energy on the wrong person.

A Final Note

Becoming better at reading people is always a good decision. You can practice by observing other people interacting. Observe them carefully and ask yourself if they are flirting or not?

This way, you become better at spotting flirty behavior, and next time, you will be able to tell if a guy is flirting with you or just being friendly.