How to enjoy being single

All the best tips and tricks to make the most out of singlehood

Your life might look nothing like Sex and the City, but if you follow our advice, we guarantee fun times channeling your inner Carrie Bradshaw. You will learn how to enjoy being single by following these tips.

How to do it

When you are single, you have more time to pursue your interests and passions; take advantage of this.

As a single person, you get to make choose for yourself.

Which career to pursue, which city to live in and where to go on holiday.

You also have the possibility to meet different kinds of men and enjoy them for their uniqueness.

Being single is an excellent opportunity to get to know yourself.

I’m not one of those people who enjoy being single

First, a little disclaimer; I don’t enjoy being single.

In fact, I hate it.

I’m terrified that I will never meet someone, and that fear is present every night when I fall asleep and every morning when I wake up. It’s a state of alarm.

When is it my turn?

A bitter-tasting combination between despair and small lanterns of hope. Those lanterns, by the way, always seem to drift away, to crash, or to find someone more suitable.

Wondering why you are not meeting the one? Check out our article Why is it so hard to find someone?

No one wants me

Being single is, for me, like being unemployed.

I simply can’t just kick back and enjoy all that free time. There is no peace of mind to just chill in the hammock with a good book. Because I have no idea when the next paycheck will arrive.

Quite possible; it will never come.

I will be forever alone.

Time to flip the switch

The other day (while out surfing), I had an epiphany; I have to try and enjoy being single. Everything else is a major waste of time, an epic failure.

When I meet someone, I will regret not enjoying my single life more, I’m sure about that.

If I never meet anyone, well, even more important to finally learn how to enjoy being single.

Single Versus Relationship

The fact is, in some ways, I do enjoy being single. Life is more unpredictable, richer, and more challenging.

There is the occasional adventure, both in the sense of a spontaneous road trip and a short-lived romance.

I enjoy being single just because I have a lot of free time and the possibility to spend that time on friends, professional goals and fun activities such as surfing. I do enjoy flirting when someone interesting comes along.

When you are single, you have to put yourself out there

When you are single, there is a sense of greater danger, you have to take more risks. You have to connect with all sorts of people in all kinds of different situations.

I have always liked adventure, so I should be able to enjoy being single.

Settling down

In a relationship, on the other hand, everything slows down.

There is a reason it’s called settling down. The pace of life becomes slower. You spend more time at home, watching Netflix with a bag of candy. A trip to IKEA becomes your new reference for an adventure.

Relationships do tend to bring out our boring side

When you are in a relationship, you don’t need to challenge yourself as much anymore. It’s not even a conscious decision, you just don’t have the same amount of restless energy.

You don’t need to stay up late at night, drinking wine and talking with new acquaintances. You certainly don’t need to dance on the table or start a midnight bonfire on the beach.

The end of the adventure?

Being in a relationship is like curling up in a stale, uninspired cave, where, for some reason, you never quite can put your finger on, you end up being a worse person than you were as single.

Tired, boring, narrow-minded. (At this point, we should all acknowledge that it might be my slightly negative view of relationships that keeps me single.)

Amazing relationships

Despite my ability to hate on relationships, I also harbor the complete opposite emotion. I idealize relationships.

I think I hate being single so much because I compare my singleness with how it would be to have an amazing loving relationship.

Never mind that most relationships are far from the fantasy ideal I have in my head. I compare my singleness with a fairy-tale version of a relationship.

Longing for love

On top of this idealizing, there is the thrill of a budding romance.

Which I desperately want and look for everywhere.

All those lonely nights and quiet mornings, this is what I long for; Meeting someone, realizing exactly how incredibly special they are, falling deeply in love. It’s such an enjoyable experience, it’s hard not to yearn for that.

Is there something wrong with me?

I also feel jealousy when I think of all the couples around me. I want to have what everyone else is having.

It doesn’t seem fair that everyone else meets someone that sweeps them off the ground while I am stuck on one uninspired tinder date after another. Where is my dream guy?

Am I cursed?

I also suspect that there is something wrong with me, since everyone else seems to be able to form a relationship. It’s like having an undetected sickness.

I suffer on a daily basis and if I look closely enough, I see a big black cloud of being unlovable surrounding me like a plague from the middleage.

Will I meet someone?

I know, I probably will meet someone. We all do, right?

But it’s one thing to know something on an intellectual level. It’s another thing to feel it. We can rationalize, convince ourselves, and appear calm, but logical arguments doesn’t win over feelings.

On an emotional level, I am forever alone.

So let’s make the best of the situation and explore all the great things about being single. Let’s try and fill our lives with them; let’s try and enjoy being single.

You have more time

A relationship takes up a hell of a lot of time. The wrong relationship takes up even more time. The relationship with yourself takes up no time. That’s just called life.

So go ahead and spend a crazy amount of time with your friends and family. Spend an equally crazy amount of time just hanging out with yourself.

Learn and develop

Exercise every day. Being single is an excellent time to try and tackle a new sport.

Read those books you always wanted to read. Don’t be afraid to chill with yourself, take a bath, order takeaway, and watch your favorite TV show.

If you want to learn something new, now is the time. If you want to be totally dedicated to one of your passions, go ahead. Don’t waste your time sulking over your relationship status.

You are happier

A relationship also takes up a lot of mental time.

You have to spend time thinking about your significant other. His behavior. His mood swings. His dreams. His shortcomings. Being in a relationship is, in many ways, much more frustrating than being single.

To be in sync with another person forces you to adjust. You give up a bit of your control. Part of your happiness and well-being is in the hand of your significant other.

Choose your own path

Their mood and actions, to a certain extent, decide your mood.

On the other hand, if you are single, you are the one who is responsible. You can control your life and your mood to a greater extent, you can choose to be happy.

Follow your passion, wherever it might take you

When we are in a relationship, we spend a huge amount of our passion on our partner. Nothing wrong with that. But don’t make the mistake and think that passion is something that is ignited by the right person.

As a single person, you often have an abundance of passions. Dreams and the passion we have for our unique dreams is what make us happy, so ensure your happiness by spending your time and passion the right way.

You get to choose

Life is full of choices. Which career to choose? Which city to live in? Which particular hobby to spend all your time on? For some reason, we make fewer choices when we are in a relationship.

We become more afraid. We tiptoe around almost every choice, asking our partner, “What do you want?” Saying things like “I don’t care, you can decide.” We might even say, “That’s not important for me,” about things that are actually important to us.

Enjoy your freedom

When you are single, every choice is up to you. Take advantage of your freedom and make some unexpected choices. Go back to school and continue your education. Or jump into a new passion?

Or why not start a new business? Let your passion and time unit. There is no one there who those endeavors will take time and attention away from.

You meet different kinds of men

This is an upside I can get on board with.

When you do find a man and make him your boyfriend, there will be only one man. He will be great, charming, dashing, but he will only be one.

It will be like eating sushi for the rest of your life. Right now, you have the possibility to spend time with different kinds of men.

Wondering how to attract all those different men? Check out How to appear more attractive as a woman.

Take advantage of the variety

Brazilian BBQ tonight and a healthy salad tomorrow? On Friday you can gulp down a whole pizza.

Don’t shy away from all those different kinds of men, even if they are not your type.

Try them out. If only for a walk or a coffee.

Find out what makes them unique and enjoy exactly that. Your boyfriend, when he does materialize from the shadows of the future, will not have every quality you appreciate in a man.

Explore who they are

As single, you have the possibility to explore other humans more deeply than if you were in a relationship. Take advantage of this, not only when it comes to different men, but also when it comes to your friends.

Also, don’t forget to flirt. This is something people in relationships miss out on.

Check out our article How to flirt with a man for more excellent tips on how to enjoy this past-time.

Get to know yourself

When you are single, you have time to do some soul-searching. Don’t miss out on this activity. It will make you a better person. To start with, think back to your previous relationship and do a bit of self-therapy.

Ask yourself what was good and what was bad. How would you want your next relationship to be? What is important to you in terms of love and relationship?

Decide what you want moving forward

Those things are easier to see clearly when you are not tangled up in the feeling of falling in love. When you are single, figure out what you want out of life and set up some non-negotiable qualities for your next relationship.

Learn new skills

You should also take the opportunity and learn more about how to take responsibility for different things that need to be done. The more self-sufficient you become, the less chance that you pick the wrong man out of sheer desperation.

You should also spend this time learning how to trust your gut instinct in regard to both men and decisions.

Your mistakes are only yours to live with. It’s something freeing with this conclusion.

So in the spirit of getting to know yourself and your place in the world, say yes to fun things and go travel alone. Don’t be afraid.

 A final note

I know firsthand how frustrating being single can be.

Being single can feel like waiting for a train that never arrives, standing alone, on a sparse windy platform, without a timetable.

Always waiting.

When all you want is a warm shower, a warm meal and a warm body to fall asleep next to.

The train is not only late, but it also seems to have been taken out of rotation altogether.

Life is not fair

When you have moments of despair, remember that we don’t have complete control over what happens to us. Life is random, unfair, and totally unpredictable.

Life comes without guarantees. Some people get everything, and some people get nothing.

Celebrate life

You can’t control every outcome, you have to learn to live with uncertainty. And to a certain extent, even appreciate this great injustice that is life. Because when it’s not plain awful, there is something charming about the utterly unpredictable quality of life.

Let’s make a pact, I will try to enjoy being single and you will try some of the things I have mentioned in this article.