Are you too independent for a relationship?

Let’s find out the truth about dating as a strong independent woman

Did someone tell you that you are too independent for a relationship? That hurts.

You doubtless worked hard to achieve everything you have in your life. You should be proud of your independence. The person in question is probably just being rude, but still, you are left wondering if there is any truth to their insensitive statement.

Are you questioning yourself?

Or maybe you are the one who has been wondering, “am I too independent for a relationship?” since you seem to push men away. Is it your independence or something else?

Let’s take a look and let’s fix the problem.

Why does an independent woman scare a man?

To understand your problem and to find a good solution, we need to understand more about male psychology.

What a man wants most of all is to bring value to your life. He wants to make a difference and he wants appreciation.

This is essential.

If you rob him of these sensations, you are indeed too independent for a relationship.

His feeling of self-worth is on the line

Men derive a surprising amount of self-esteem from pleasing women. That’s why a woman’s laugh (at one of his jokes) is the most beautiful sound for any man. Men go out and conquer the world in the hopes of getting female approval.

Once you realize this, understanding men will be so much easier.

How to attract the right man as a strong independent woman

Understanding this vital part of male psychology also means that even if you are a strong independent woman, you can still attract the right man. You just need him to feel that he is important in your life.

He needs to feel that you value his present, and yes, to a certain extent, he does want to feel that you need him.

Allow him to be of importance

You can do that by allowing him to bring a lot of joy to your life and making sure that he knows just how amazing and funny you think he is. Ask him for recommendations, books, documentaries, music, and he will thrive.

Let him know how important he is to you

Also, tell him exactly what it is you appreciate about him. Let him know that, although you might not need him, you absolutely badly want him. It is also important that you show him your vulnerable side. Check out our article How to appear vulnerable to a man, for 7 solid strategies to attract the right relationship (too independent or not.)

High-quality men want independent women

What makes the question “Are you too independent for a relationship?” such an intriguing one is that there are ways to be independent that attract men and there are ways to be independent that repulse men.

Done right, independence and strength are a real turn-on for most men. It is also clear sign of a high-quality woman.

It’s important to acknowledge that most men want a smart woman that has her shit together.

But there are different ways to be independent. When you get too stuck in all the ways you don’t need a man, your independence becomes toxic.

“I don’t need a man”- mentality

Imagine how you would feel if you were on a date and the man in question told you he doesn’t need a woman.

First of all, you know he doesn’t need a woman.

Bitterness is not attractive

But needing someone and wanting someone is miles apart. So, when a man makes that statement, he just doesn’t seem self-aware. He seems to be acting from his wounded part rather than logic.

He probably even seems pretty bitter.

Do you feel dating is hard and that you just never meet the right guy? Find some comfort in our article Why is it so hard to find someone?

Ask yourself about your thought-patterns

So, if you are often stuck in the thought that you don’t need a man, there are probably more things going on below the surface.

There are lots of things we don’t need, but we still want them.

In fact, we would be delighted to get a promotion, to buy ourselves a beautiful house and to have healthy children.

We don’t need those things, but we will certainly appreciate them.

We all want to bring meaning

When you are stuck in this mind frame of focusing on being too independent for a man, you take away from men’s right to exist. That’s never attractive.

We all want to be worthy. We all want our existence to be meaningful.

You can become too stuck in your story

If you often focus on the fact that you might be too independent for a relationship, that already tells me that you are stuck in a story.

You have a problem and you also have an explanation for why this problem exists. But the truth is that it’s not your independency that scares men off. Because as explained above, high-quality men appreciate an independent woman.

Limiting beliefs

If I would take a guess, I would say that it is your lack of vulnerability that keeps men away.

Another reason why you don’t have the relationship you want is that you keep telling yourself the story that you are too independent for a man.

The things we tell ourselves become our reality. This story you have going on in your mind manifests itself in reality.

A bit sad, but true.

The solution is surprisingly easy

This simple fact also tells you that the solution is to stop telling yourself negative stories. Instead, start telling yourself that you are worthy just the way you are and that there are men that will appreciate you for who you are.

Don’t let yourself get away with storytelling

I know another thing for sure, it’s not good to have a negative script running in your head. Telling yourself that you are too independent for a relationship is such a script. Whatever you keep feeding yourself becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You dig your own grave.

Time to stop and time to adopt a healthier mindset.

Bring on the positive stories

You want to come back to a fair and balanced perception of love and men. You want to question your stories. The fact is that most stories we tell ourselves are not true.

Start telling yourself good stories, have a healthy mental space, and you will be on your way to meet that man I know you want to meet, because why else ask the question?

To get further ahead on your healing journey, check out this lady, she is all about re-programing your thought patterns.

Are men intimidated by strong independent women?

First of all, let’s take a minute and acknowledge that, yes, there is some truth to this statement. In so far that a successful man attracts a lot of female attention. A successful man has a lot of women to choose between because women approach him all the time.

You see it all the time, if we should be honest, a successful man with a wife who normally would be out of his league.

Yes, it is harder for successful women

Alice Wong has a funny comedy show when she talks about how scary fan-dick is.

She doesn’t get any men eager to seduce her despite the fact that she is wealthy (she is also married, though.) Check it out and have a good laugh about this biological imbalance. Because, you know, life is not always fair.

We do marry someone just like us

In the end, a majority of people marry someone who is on the same financial level.

So yes, men will not be knocking at your door when you become successful. But if you make an effort to find men, the right man will appreciate everything you have achieved. The right man will admire your success and it will be a turn-on for him.

Biology is doing the talking

This interesting mechanism also affects men. Many men feel that they have to be successful to attract a high-quality woman. That’s why a lot of men work so hard, both in their personal life and in their professional life.

A final note

There is some truth to the statement, “I am too independent for a relationship.”

A successful man has women fighting over him. A successful woman just doesn’t get that. But most successful men appreciate someone who is their equal. They appreciate a strong and independent woman.

Practice vulnerability

If you are afraid that your independence scares men away, try to be more vulnerable and work towards allowing men to bring value to your life.