sex tips for women

Become better in bed by using these 9 strategies

In preparation for Her Brilliant Friend, we interviewed more than 300 men. We seized the opportunity to ask them about their best sex tips for women. Now we are proud to publish the result. I think we can all agree that we deserve amazing sex.

The first thing most men mentioned is that a confident woman is a huge turn-on, so work on that confidence to get him all worked up. Of course, technical skills are highly appreciated, so learn more tricks. Another fun thing you should try out is to take the lead. Men are generally more visual than women, so make sure you play into his visual side.

Find out about his secret desires and dreams

Find out his secrets and fulfill his wishes. Learn how to satisfy yourself. Most men find this incredibly hot.

Practice mindfulness so that you are fully present in the moment. When you choose to improve in other areas of your life, he will be more intrigued by you, and the sex will be better. And last but not least, appreciate him.

1. Be more confident

Talking with men about sex and their best sex tips for women, confidence is the aspect that most often comes up in the conversation. It seems that even if we have come a long way when it comes to equality, women are generally more insecure when it comes to being naked and enjoying sex.

Confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s allowing your man to really look at you. It’s about letting go.

How to become more confident

Confidence is sexy in so many different ways. It takes a lot of work to become more confident. Work you definitely should make a priority. But until then, fake it to you make it.

Say goodbye to negativity

Don’t say negative things about yourself. Don’t allow your inner voice to say negative things about yourself. Smile and say thank you if you get a compliment. Make love in the bright morning light. Enjoy your body. It’s the only one you got.

2. Learn more Tricks

Ever been with a man that is a one-trick pony? Not as fun, is it?

He just kept doing the same thing, and even if that thing was pleasurable and fun in the beginning, after a while, it just started to feel less and less until it felt a lot like eating soup. Warm and comfortable, but nothing exciting or memorable.

Variety is exciting

So if you give a great blowjob, congrats, you are off to a great start. Because most men really like getting a great blowjob.

But variety is where the true gold lies hidden. If you want to be irresistible in bed, try to come up with something new every time you have sex. Challenge yourself. Routine is easy, safe, comfortable.

Be unpredictable

Unpredictability, on the other hand, is mesmerizing. We wrote a fun article about 13 things men like in bed but won’t ask for.

Your man might not like the new thing you are trying out. But that you are willing to experiment and change your repertoire will let him know he is in good hands. Most men fear the sexual predictability that comes with monogamy. That’s just how most men are wired. But you can easily avert that fear by being creative and open to experiments.

Keep on learning is our number one sex tips for women.

3. Take the lead

Yes, men like to take the initiative to sex. They like to seduce you. To get you. But one of the most common desires of the men we talked with is that the woman initiates sex more often. This was especially true for the men who were in long-term relationships. They wanted a break from doing all the work.

The fear of rejection is real

Taking the initiative to sex is a risk. You risk getting turned down. Not now. Not today. No, thank you.

We fear being rejected. Sometimes that fear is even bigger when we are already in a relationship. Because in a relationship, we shouldn’t get rejected.

Make him feel desired

You might think it’s the man’s responsibility to initiate sex. But that’s old-school thinking.

Because what the men we talked with craved more than anything is you taking the lead, you seducing him. Sometimes you can just get the ball rolling and then let go and let him lead.

Bring out your inner dominatrix

Other times you should dedicate the whole act to dominating him. Tell him what you want him to do. Give him instructions. Tell him to go faster, harder. Tell him to slow down if that’s what you need.

To show him how badly you want him is a great sex tips for women. Men also want to be desired. To make him feel desired is surprisingly easy. All you have to do is take the initiative to sex. Here is our article about How to be more active in bed as a woman.

4. Play into his visual side

No way getting around this. If you want to drive him crazy, the process starts way before you enter the bedroom. The process of turning him on is something you can be working on at any time.

Nowadays, thanks to our phones, this is especially easy. Is he at work? Even better. Send him a sexy picture of you.

Give him a unique picture of you

You probably know what part of your body is his favorite. Use your knowledge. If you know what he fantasizes about, tailor the pictures to his unique needs.

Men are, as a general rule, more visual than women. So this strategy will work better than what you would expect. If you don’t feel comfortable sending a sexy picture, send him a cute picture of you and a sexy message to go with the picture.

5. Find out his secrets

We all have things that make us tick. Things that deeply turn us on. Often we keep those things locked up for fear of being ridiculed and rejected.

Show him that you are open and prepared to accept him for who he is.

Find out what his secret fantasies are.

Fulfill his hidden fantasies

Most humans want to talk. They want to tell you things. All you have to do is ask a question and be present when you listen to the answer.

If your man is shy, you just have to tread more carefully. Don’t push. Take your time. Show him that you are interested in getting to know him on a deeper level.

Make him trust you

The reward will be even bigger if he is shy. Eventually, he will tell you things he hasn’t told anyone else, and you will be the person who delivers on those things. How is that for great sex tips for women?

Find out what makes him different from all other men. Fulfill his fantasies.

6. Learn to satisfy yourself

As women, we usually hold men responsible for our pleasure. They are the hostage of our ever-elusive orgasm. This dynamic put a lot of pressure on the man. If he is a real man, he will know how to make you come, and so on.

Free him from this pressure, and he will be forever grateful.

Your orgasm is your responsibility. If you have this as your benchmark, you are already there.

Know your body

Your body is tricky, and since it’s your body, you should be the one who knows it best.

All of us have a certain amount of fear of our bodies, and this is especially true when it comes to our relationship with sex. Sex is an interesting thing as it binds body and mind together. It also binds us together with love and reproduction. It goes down to the essence of what we are. Don’t be afraid of the cavewomen in you. Find her, satisfy her.

7. Practice mindfulness

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is a really good listener? Think about how smart and interesting that person made you feel. Just by a nod or a slight smile, that person could make you feel alive and vibrant.

Sex is similar to listening. Having sex with someone who is fully present is a whole other experience than having sex with someone who thinks about work, or their exercise regime, or where they want to go for holiday.

Being present is a powerful strategy and one of our best sex tips for women.

Don’t analyze, just be

Being present is elusive. But as with so many other things, you can become better by practicing. When a thought shows up, as it does all the time when we are having sex, don’t let it take root in your brain. Just gently wave the thought goodbye. To keep improving download a meditation app or read more about mindfulness.

No one can read our thoughts, but they sip out through our pores, they leek to everything we do. The more you will be able not to think, to just be, the better the sex will feel for both you and your man.

You will be in a state of flow.

8. Improve in other areas

Sex is not an isolated event. Sex is intervened with everything else you are and with everything else that goes on in your life. If you are worried and displeased about other things, it will come across when you have sex. The more at peace you are with yourself, the better the sex.

Bring the holiday mode to your everyday life

There is a reason we have happy, fun sex when we are on holiday. All that free time and nothing to worry about makes us a better mistress.

Self-improvement is a vast area. Far too big to tackle in this article. Just remember that things you do to improve your general well-being will also improve your sex life. Enjoy life. Dance, listen to music, go skinny dipping in the summertime.

9. Appreciate him

Men are not used to hearing compliments. Use this to your advantage. Tell him what you like about him. Tell him why you find him sexy.

When the two of you are in bed, show him what you like and when he pleases you, make sure he knows.

Don’t hold back on your moans of pleasure. But don’t put on a show, it should come from an authentic place, and you should feel comfortable doing it.

Show him how you like it

Participate in sex, don’t just be the passenger.

Don’t only use your voice to show him when he is doing something right. You can also use your hands. Just grab hold of him, and he will know that you are enjoying what he is doing.

Make him feel masculine and appreciated.

And finally, choose the right man

And finally; the most important step of them all. I could have put this one on top. But instead, I saved the best for last.

Choose the right man.

With the wrong man, none of the above improvements will help. You will be throwing your efforts in a big black hole of non-reciprocating.

Making love is something two (or more) people do together. It’s a dance. It’s a push and pull dynamic. It’s tenderness and intensity. You can’t do it on your own.