Relationship vs Friendship – Top 7 Differences

Everything you need to know

There are many differences between a relationship and a friendship, and they both have their advantages and disadvantages. Friendship is a more casual relationship, while a romantic relationship takes more time and commitment. If you are wondering which one is the best, relationship vs friendship, you have to decide for yourself after getting to know all the distinctions.

High expectations

We have much more expectations of a romantic partner than we have of a friend. The right relatiosnhip partner will be crucial for your overall happines.

Friendships, on the other hand, are not blinded by romance and thus we tend to see our friends in a clearer light and pick them based on their qualities rather than a firework of love hormones.

Can a friendship turn into a relationship?

If you are wondering about relationship vs friendship because you are not sure which route to take in one of your relationships, I recommend checking out How do you know if you are dating the right person? This article will give you clarity on how to proceed.

If you are asking this question because you have a friend whom you wish would be more than just a friend, do check out How to get out of the friend zone with a guy.

1. There is less risk of breaking up in a friendship

We are often afraid to start dating a friend because if it doesn’t work out we will have done unrepairable damage to the friendship. In some situations, we value the friendship more than a potential relationship.

This fear is warranted. Partly because of the different natures when it comes to relationship vs friendship.

As mentioned before, we expect much more from our partner. A direct effect of this is that the risk is much higher to break up with a romantic partner. There are many pitfalls on the road to a succesfull relationship.

Longlasting friendships

I bet you have a lot of past flings and exes you rarely talk to. Where some of your friends you have probably kept all the way from your childhood. In that sense, friendships are more everlasting and a stronger bond.

The friendship flame is not as strong and thus it doesn’t come with the same risk of burning out.

2. You date other people when you are in a friendship

If you are pondering your feelings for a special friend it is important to remember this distinction, friends are genuinely happy when their friends are dating someone else.

You don’t have a monopoly on your friends. You want them to be in love with someone else than you.

If this thought feels painful to you, there might be more than just friendship going on between you and your friend.

Don’t mix friendship with romance

If you feel any tension when it comes to your friend and their potential love interest it’s important that you listen to your own feelings.

For example, do take a break from the friendship until you can genuinely say that you are over your friend romantically. You might feel that you can handle being friends with someone you have feelings for, but generally speaking, this will hurt your confidence. A part of you will always want more.

Check out our article How to be friends with someone you love, for more advice.

Friendships are durable

Don’t be afraid that you will lose your friend if you do take a break. A strong friendship will always survive a break. Some friendships have breaks for years where the friends don’t talk so often. Despite this, the friendship can blossoms again at a later point.

This slow-burning aspect is one of the qualities of a great friendship.

3. We are not sexually attracted to our friends

Another important point is that you generally don’t feel sexually attracted to your friends. Do ponder this aspect, if you feel a sensual pull, there is more than friendship going on.

The definition of a friend is someone you don’t feel attracted to. As soon as you feel that sexual pull, your friend enters into the territory of a love interest. Yes, don’t kid yourself, it’s really that simple.

In a relationship, sexual attraction is one of the strongest building blocks.

4. In a friendship, both of you are more independent

One of the biggest things that separate a friendship from a relationship is the amount of time you spend together.

A relationship is also often building towards a bigger intimacy, for example moving in together or buying a house together, or even starting a family together.

This is also what can make the dynamics of friendship vs relationship so confused. If you ever lived with a close friend, you know what I’m talking about. You often end up spending more time with your roommate than with the person your date. Sometimes you even feel closer to the people you live with.

Spending too much time with a friend?

I’m also sure we all have had roommates we have been secretly crushing on.

If you spend all your time with your friend, it is easy to start getting confused about the differences. In fact, you might treat your friendship a bit like a relationship. For example, you often talk about the future and your common dreams. You share aspirations such as buying a house together or starting a business together.

As long as you are not sexually attracted to your friends, this is all very nice. It just means you have a strong friendship.

Don’t rely to heavly on your friends

One little caveat is that if you are too strongly invested in your friend (or group of friends) you might involuntarily block yourself from a potential love-interest. You already get so many of your basic needs fulfilled from your friends that you don’t actively search for a romantic relationship. Just something to be aware of if you do want a romantic relationship.

5. Friends don’t take each other into consideration when it comes to making personal decisions

This ties into the point above, but it is such an important part of friendship vs relationship that it deserves its own point. In a relationship you make decisions considering the future together. Friendships on the other hand are something we sustain separately from what’s going on in our life.

We might plan to have a family or change careers or move to a new country without allowing our friends to weigh in on the decision. Friends accept each other for who they are and where they are in their life.

We don’t try to sway our friends to take a certain path.

The romance of being interconnected

A romantic relationship is much more codependent. Most couples are deeply involved in each other’s decisions, even when it comes to small things. This feature is both romantic and sometimes a pitfall for relationships.

6. Friendships are less demanding

The two points above also help fuel this point.

Since friends spend less time together and are less invested in each other’s future, friendships are considerably less high maintenance.

You can see your friends once a week or even once a month, some friends only meet a couple of times every year. This is still completely socially acceptable. Many friends like to point out that time doesn’t matter, they feel the friendship as strong as before despite not seeing each other for months or even years.

Romance needs time and energy to thrive

I doubt this would be the case in any romantic relationship. That sort of love needs constant fuel.

Seeing each other seldom wouldn’t be as accepted in most romantic relationships. Thus, a romantic relationship will take up a lot of your time and energy.

7. You usually have multiple friends but only one primary romantic partner

Even people in polyamorous relationships usually have a primary partner.

As for the rest of us, we search for one person who we would like to be in a relationship with.

When it comes to friendships, there is no limit. Some people have thousands of friends, especially if you count all the friends you have over a lifetime.

Friendship can form over small commonalities

This aspect also makes friendships less demanding. You don’t have to have a million things in common to become friends. Usually, one common interest is enough.

In a relationship, there are a lot of things that needs to line up for the two of you to work as a couple. We have high expectations of how connected we want to be with our romantic partner.

A final Note

I think we can all agree that there is quite a lot that separates a friendship from a romantic relationship. But pondering the borders have helped me deepen my understanding both of friendships and relationships.

What they have in common is that they are both important for us to thrive as humans. We like to connect and to feel connected, and in that case, there is no relationship vs friendship. Most of us want both.