How to tell a guy you like him without actually telling him

We give you all the strategies to get the message across

You like someone and now you want to make sure he knows how you are feeling, but for one reason or another, you don’t want to tell him. You want to tell a guy you like him without actually telling him. This is not only achievable, but it can also be a smart way to increase his attraction to you.

Use one, or all, of the following strategies.

How to subtlety let him know – The crash course

Make the extra effort around him. Be Flirty.

Let the way you touch him tell him what you are not saying. At times; try and look deeply into his eyes.

Tell him you like something about him.

Be interested in the things he is interested in.

Just keep close to him, often.

Refuse to discuss other women he is dating.

Kiss him on the cheek or on his neck.

Show, don’t tell him that you like him

You are correct on this one; to simply telling a guy you like him will, in most cases, come off as a bit too much too soon.

The reason for this is that by telling him that you like him, you put a lot of pressure on him and his feelings. You also give away too much power and force him to make some kind of decision.

Increase his attraction

Unless he is already secretly in love with you, telling him you like him will not increase his attraction for you.

Instead, you should let your behavior towards him reflect the fact that you do like him. The more you keep on using the strategies below, the more likely he will understand how you feel.

Make extra effort around him

The easiest and most straightforward way to tell a guy you like him without actually telling him is to consistently put in the extra effort.

Whatever your interactions are like, you do extra things around him.

You smile more, you laugh a bit louder at his jokes, you ask him more questions.

Your attention should be like rays of sunshine on his being

When the two of you are in a group, your focus is tilted toward him, and you often bring back the discussion to what he has to say. You should also remember lots of things from your earlier conversations and refer back to them.

Make sure he notices that you are giving him special treatment.

Check how he responds to your advantages

By doing this, you will sense how responsive he is to your advantages.

If he starts doing the same, you are in a good place. Your feelings may be reciprocated. To check for more signs if he likes you or not, check out How to tell if someone likes you.

To get the message across that you like him, it’s essential that you consistently give him a lot of attention. If you only do this sometimes, he will not get the message.

Be Flirty

So, you are being nice to him? The two of you have great chemistry, with many inside jokes and long conversations?

Now is the time to show him that your interest in him is of the romantic kind. Not only do you think he is a great human being, but you also have sexual feelings toward him.

Many people shy away from this step and thus end up in the dreaded friend zone. Do you want to get out of the friend zone, check out How to get out of the friend zone with a guy.

Don’t be afraid of rejection

The reason why we don’t flirt enough is that we are afraid of rejection.

Being friendly and nice is safe, versus flirting and being sexual is dangerous and almost embarrassing. But if you want to tell a guy you like him without telling him, you have to start flirting. If he doesn’t pick up on your cues, you have to flirt even more.

We wrote a whole article about How to flirt with a man, you should use all the techniques with gusto.

It’s especially important to be flirty if this guy is a friend of yours. Now is the time to show him your sensual side.

The way you touch him tells him what you are not saying

If you already do everything above, the best way to be flirty is to touch him.

You can touch him in many different places and the touch can be very light. But you do have to touch him. Touch is often what separates a flirty interaction from a friendly interaction.

By touching him, you show him the desire you have for him. You want to touch him so badly that you just can’t help yourself.

Touch his arm gently when you want to say something, or when you agree with what he is saying. Or give him a jokingly push when he teases you.

Practice touching him

The possibilities are really endless and by practicing this, you will become better. If your main focus is to try and touch him during your interactions, you will get plenty of opportunities.

Every time you touch him, his subconscious will pick up on the fact that you do like him. You don’t have to tell him. Everything you have to do is touch him.

At times; try and look deeply into his eyes

Extensive eye contact is a clear sign that two people like each other.

When we like someone, we can’t help ourselves from looking at them. Our eyes constantly dart toward them. We also feel comfortable looking into their eyes for a more extensive time. 

Basically, the more two people like each other, the more eye contact they have. To use this knowledge to your advantage, hold his gaze for a bit longer than what feels comfortable.

Laugh together with him

Do this often and in a lot of different situations. Once again, even if he doesn’t pick up on this clue, his subconscious will alert him to the fact that something is going on.

When both of you laugh or when he laughs, you can catch his eyes and do the same. When it is time to look away, do this slowly. This way, his subconscious gets the message that you can’t get enough of him. You are reluctant to let him go.

By doing this, you tell a guy that you like him without actually telling him.

Tell him you like something about him

Since many people are not good at picking up non-verbal cues, you should also flat-out tell him that you like him. This is also true because when we collect information, we trust that information more if we get the same information through different channels.

By doing everything above, you have shown him that you like him. But you can also tell a guy you like him without actually telling him. What you have to do is use the word “Like” (or similar) in a sentence that refers to something about him.

Here are our top examples:

• I really like hanging out with you.

• I liked how you handled that situation.

• I like how passionate you are about golf.

• You always make me laugh.

• I like the way you think.

Tell him why you like him

Feel free to use them, but do come up with your own examples that are specifically tailored to the situation you are in. Whatever it is about him you like, don’t be afraid to tell him so. This is the best way of telling him you like him without actually telling him.

What makes him unique in your eyes?

Be interested in the things he is interested in

This point works on a wide variety of levels. First of all, notice what he likes talking about and ask him about that subject.

Whatever his passions are, find out more so the two of you can have a stimulating conversation.

Show him that you are interested in the things he is interested in, even those you were not previously interested in. Doing this shows him that you are interested in him and that whatever is important to him is important to you.

Get an invite to one of his preferred activities

This also works on a more practical level. Make him invite you to come along to some of his activities. If he goes to the gym, you can also start going to the gym.

Show him that he and his interests inspire you.

Try reading or listening to what he has been reading and listening to. Talk about those things with him. This strategy is very effective.

Take an interest in his interest

He will notice that you are spending time getting closer to him and learning about the things that are important to him. He might even suspect that you have a crush on him. Doing this is an easy way to tell a guy you like him without actually telling him.

Just keep close to him, often

Yes, this is a sign of attraction and a sign you can use to your advantage. Just keep gravitating towards him. When the two of you are in a group together, always stand next to him.

If you are eating together, you can sit down next to him.

This neat trick also works on a micro-level; when the two of you are talking, stand closer to him than what is necessary. Lean in when he makes an interesting point.

The more you keep hovering around him, the more you will show him that you like him, without having to tell him.

Refuse to discuss other women he is dating

This is another big indicator as to whether the two of you are friends or something more. Friends do discuss their dating situation and potential love interests.

If no such discussion is going on, there is the possibility that you are their love interest.

Since this mechanism is such a strong indicator of what is going on, you can easily use it to your advantage. Never mention other men or other dates around him. (If he, on the other hand, sees other men giving you attention, this is no problem since this most likely will increase his attraction.)

Just don’t go there

If he brings up other women and wants to discuss and analyze them, just act like you have no interest whatsoever in going there. This way, he will understand that you like him and are interested in him.

The vibe will instantly be more romantic and less friendship-like. If you want to hammer in the message that you like him romantically, you can even act a bit hurt when he brings up his interest in another woman.

Have a common friend telling him, or hinting

If you are not brave enough to face him and tell him how you feel, you can let a friend do a bit of digging and hinting on your behalf.

The man in question doesn’t need to know that the information comes from you. Your friend can just say something along the line with, “I don’t know if you have noticed, but I suspect X might be interested in you.”

Use language and phrases suitable to your unique situation. She (or he) doesn’t need to be straightforward about the matter, they just have to plant a seed in his mind.

A good low-key strategy

If you really want him to know that you like him without actually telling him, simply have your friend tell him. He still doesn’t need to know that you wanted the friend to tell him. So if he doesn’t want to act on the information, he doesn’t have to.

Kiss him on the check or on his neck

You know, if you want to tell a guy you like him without actually telling him, you can just kiss him.

When you use your lips this way, they tell him everything there is to say. If a kiss on the mouth feels too forward, you can kiss him on the cheek or on his neck.

You can also ask him if he wants a kiss.

If you are brave, do kiss him on the lips. The kiss can be very light, and if he doesn’t like you, he will always remember you as the girl who kissed him.

Don’t be afraid of the fact that he might find out that you like him

Oftentimes when we don’t show the guy that we like him, it’s because we are absolutely terrified that he will find out that we like him. So we downplay every interaction and might even be cold and distant towards him at different times. Thus making it impossible for him to know that we do indeed like him.

But why are we so afraid?

What is so terrible about him finding out? What is the big secret?

He will handle your feelings with care

The fact that you like him is a big compliment to him. Think back to different times when you found out that someone liked you? How did you react? What happened? Do you think it was so bad for the other person?

No, you were probably flattered. Most likely also handled the situation really well. If he is a nice guy, he will be nice about the whole thing. You have nothing to lose and everything to win by showing him that you like him. Be brave.

Or, you know, just ask him for a date

Rejection sucks, but it also sucks to be interested in someone who is not interested in you. So, after a couple of weeks of doing everything above, it’s time to find out if he likes you or not. Ask him if he wants to do something, just the two of you. If he asks you if it is a date, be honest and tell him that yes, it is a date.

He might not be into you, but most people appreciate honesty and forwardness.

If he turns you down, take two big steps back. With a bit of luck, he will start missing you.

Otherwise, the world is full of amazing men who will be absolutely perfect for you, and on top of that, show and tell you that they like you.