How to create sexual tension with a man

Our fun, in-depth guide with lots of tips

Do you want to get him to desire you? Maybe you want him to make the first move? Or do you want him in a place where he can’t stop thinking about you? The answer to those questions is to know how to create sexual tension with a man.

Practice makes perfect

This is a powerful tool since most men really love sex. The best way to develop this side of you is to practice. When you practice how to create sexual tension with a man, you will develop a sixth sense, and you will be able to tell exactly how strongly he reacts to your different subtle techniques.

Sound like a lot of fun, right? Let’s dive in.  

Be comfortable with sex

The first lesson in learning to create sexual tension is to be comfortable with the presence of sex.

Regard sex as something fun, exciting, and natural.

Many people get afraid when the atmosphere gets too sexually charged. That’s only natural since sex is a bit scary. Rejection is scary!

To be able to handle this aspect better, you have to become more relaxed when it comes to sexual rejection.  

Be comfortable with rejection

When you have been trying to create sexual tension and the other person just doesn’t want to go there or flat-out rejects you, be OK with this outcome.

Be brave.

Sexual rejection is part of life. Sometimes it’s personal. Other times the rejection has nothing to do with you.

When you get afraid of the sexual tension you have been able to build with someone, you will most likely do something to kill the vibe.

Many times, this happens very early on. You get afraid of your own power, and you withdraw.

Keep on flirting

Fight this instinct. Stay present and stay flirty. Check out our article How to flirt with a man.

Be aware of this problem, and you will already have come a long way on your journey to becoming a master of sexual tension. Practice being comfortable with the presence of sex in your interactions with different men.

Practice with different men

Now you might object that you certainly don’t want to create sexual tension with a lot of men. That sounds like a nightmare.

In fact, there is a special man in your life, and he is the target.

Sorry to break it to you, but to develop this skill, you will need to practice. Mastering sexual tension is not all that different from learning how to drive.

Let’s talk about some actionable steps. I want you to go out in the world and use them.

Use your body to create sexual tension with a man

You can create a lot of sexual tension by using your body. Because when it comes to sexual tension, our body tells other people something we might not be comfortable telling them with our words.

Lean in when you are talking to your object, stand close to him, and let your body mimic his body. Catch his eyes when he is laughing and laugh with him, without looking away.

Increase the level of closeness between the two of you

When you pass him, allow your bodies to brush against each other.

By doing those small little things, you create an invisible band between the two of you. You are also increasing the amount of closeness that feels comfortable between the two of you.

Touch him in different ways

But, of course, direct touch is an even stronger way to create sexual tension.

You can start with a very light touch. When you want to get a point across, you can touch his arm. Or gently direct him in one way or another by giving him a helpful touch.

When you are looking for ways to touch him, you will get plenty of opportunities.

Try touching him at different parts of his body at different times to create a more dynamic unexpected atmosphere.

Touch his arm

One great tip to create lots of sexual tension is to touch the lower part of his arm (close to the hand). This place is easy to touch and not overtly sexual, but touching a man in this place is effective. (As in the picture, but you should touch him.)

It’s unexpected and intimate. (Practice on a friend to be able to pull this move off.)

If you are feeling brave, you can gently grab him in the same spot and wrap your hand around his arm. Only do this for a brief moment to get the message across.

Be forceful to create sexual tension

Men exude sexual energy when they are being forceful. But women can actually do the same.

Don’t hold back, be a little bit extra pushy. Be passionate about your likes and dislikes. Grab him when you want to show him something. Challenge him in a humorous way.

If he has done something that displeases you, point it out, but do it in a fun way. Make him work a bit to gain your approval.

Know what you want

Be a woman who knows what she wants and what she likes. Have firm opinions, but show that you enjoy discussing them. You like to be challenged; you are also a person who enjoys a good battle.

Sure, all of the above techniques can backfire, but when they work, they lead to the kind of intense sensual firework that you will still long for on your deathbed.

Push and pull to create sexual tension

Often sexual tension comes from a push-and-pull situation. Sometimes the two of you are in agreement, and sometimes you disagree.

Sometimes you give him what he asks for, and sometimes you refuse.

You can harvest this by being sweet and other times, being hard to please (albeit in a playful way.)

Pick the forbidden fruit

Another strong fuel for sexual tension is if something is slightly forbidden. This is one of the reasons why so many colleagues end up falling in love. The same mechanism also explains why you feel attracted to your boss, a doctor, or any other authority figure.

You can create this kind of atmosphere by being more dialectic and forceful.

Tell him why he can’t have you

Tell him why he is not the right man for you. Tell him he can’t have you. Do this in a playful way, so he doesn’t know what to think.

Create barriers for your relationship, even if it’s such a small thing as your different taste in ice cream. Say, “This can never work out.”

Do your own version

If this all sounds a bit much and not like your personality at all, just do a light version.

Playfully disagree with something he is saying. Give him a bit of resistance, but do this in a mild way.

The more you can feel like he gets you, the further you can take the joke. Men want to concur, and by giving him something to concur, you create a hot situation.

Almost all men like strong women. A woman who knows what she wants is a turn-on.

If you want one woman telling her version of how to create crazy strong sexual tension, check out How to make a man cry in bed.

Dress the part

We check for sexual chemistry between the people around us and us and us by looking at them. Our eyes partly make the decision.

We take them in with our eyes and sometimes, we are sexually attracted against our will.

Dress for attraction

To achieve this, you should dress in a way that is true to your personality, comfortable but not sloppy.

Choose clothes that accentuate your best features. For example, tops that bring out your eye color. Jewelry is also a very important way to look put together and tell the world a story about who you are.

Wear red and wear feminine clothes

Red is a good joyful color if you want to increase sexual tension.

There is a reason that red clothes, red cheeks, red lips and red nails are the color of sex and love. Red just makes us horny.

It’s not rocket science

Take advantage of this when you want to create sexual tension with a man.

Basically, this is not a complicated point, don’t overthink it. Just show the world that you are proud of who you are by dressing with care and joy.

And yes, don’t be afraid to wear a dress or a skirt. The effect will be even more powerful if you normally don’t do this. The same goes for showing some skin.

If you want to develop this side of yourself further, check out our article How to appear more attractive as a woman.

Think dirty thoughts

Your thoughts do show, not only through your eyes but through your body language.

So when you want to create sexual tension, do picture how it would feel to have sex with your object.

Imagine yourself kissing his lips and stroking his skin. When you have thoughts like this, you will naturally blush, and your eyes will become sparkly.

Tease him by alluding to your dirty thoughts

If the two of you are flirting with each other, you can allude to your fantasies or send him a teaser over text. How vocal you should be, comes down to the situation between the two of you.

But don’t be afraid to create sexual tension by having “dirty” thoughts.

Is this “target” of yours a man who also happens to be a friend? Check out our article How to get out of the friend zone with a guy.

Create sexual tension with a man by taking things slow

Remember the old song The longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss. This is indeed true when it comes to creating sexual tension.

Don’t rush into things. Be forceful, but don’t push for the two of you being physical.

Show him that you want him by words rather than action. Be cold and distant enough to deny both of you the pleasure you are longing for.

Make him doubt where he has you

Before you kiss him, he will never be sure if he has you or not, and the uncertainty will fuel the sexual tension between the two of you.

Before something has happened between the two of you, there is still a lot of insecurity. When we don’t know if we can have something, we want it even more.

We appreciate things we hard to work hard to achieve.

The longer time we have to play something in our imagination, the stronger the buildup becomes and the more exciting the whole endeavor.

Embrace the double meaning

Sexual tension is about saying something and potentially meaning something completely different.

You could be talking about a book both of you read or a place both of you would want to visit. But the subtext is saying so much more. Embrace this double meaning. The more you practice, the more you will master this aspect of creating sexual tension.

Don’t be afraid of misunderstandings. Say things like “I thought you meant….”

Use sexually charged language

You can also use sensual language like saying that you love something, even if it’s just a particular kind of candy. “I get really excited by….” It could be a new movie or taking a hot bath. Whatever makes your juices flow, don’t be afraid to get your passions out there.

The more you charge the language, the more the message will become apparent, regardless of what your words are saying.

You can also use words such as “dirty” and “punish” and other words that have a more dangerous sexual vibe.

Create sexual tension by going hot and cold

This strategy is a bit mean, but it does work. And cruel as it is, it’s also logical that going hot and cold will increase the sexual tension between the two of you.

By being cold and distant in your next interaction, the man in question will think that he has lost you.

When you switch back to being warm and flirty, the reward will be much bigger.

Feelings exist in contrast to each other, so when you want to play with someone’s feelings, you have to give them contrasts. You have to give them both hell and heaven.

Take a big step back

If you have been giving the man in question a lot of attention and still haven’t been able to create enough sexual tension, it’s time to withdraw from him. Focus your energy on something else. Forget about him.

This move is ridiculously effective since now he has to work for your affection. If he doesn’t step up to the game, there was nothing you could do anyway. Just move on.

Some additional tips on how to create sexual tension with a man

Admirer him.

Men love to be admired.

They work hard to conquer the world, but what they long for is the admiration of the right woman.

Use the words “I’m impressed” when referring to something about him you like.

Tell him what you like about him

You can also say something along the line, “I really love your hands,” or whatever feature of him has caught your attention. If the feature is minor, the compliment will come off as less strong.

You can also use “like” instead of “love.” For example, say, “I like that shirt on you. It looks great.” People love positive feedback.

Give him a well-aimed compliment

Do give him a compliment regarding his achievement.

The more personal you can be in the compliment, the more he will feel like you get him. People like to be liked for what they value in themselves. Try to think about what he likes about himself and give him a compliment about that.

It’s also important that you are positive and joyful. There is no need to complain or burden him with your problems. That sort of behavior kills sexual tension. Be witty and use your humor to charm him. We all like to laugh and funny banter is sexy.

Say something true and unexpected and see if he catches your eye and smile.

A final Note

Do all the tips above, mix them, make them yours and use them shamelessly on the man you desire. But the most important aspect is that you have fun while you do it.