Our unique research tells you exactly what most men are looking for
What makes a man fall in love? What is the magic recipe behind this life-changing event?
For many of us, we go on dates, we meet different men we like, but we have no idea what it takes to make one of those men fall in love with us.
To shed some light on this big mystery, we asked men about their experience with falling in love.
What makes a man fall in love? – The crash course
She possesses a combination of unique qualities that he appreciates in a woman and cannot easily find.
With her, he gets the right amount of space to suit his personality.
She is appreciative, respects his life mission, and is generally a positive person.
The two of them are similar on many different levels, but she also has something he lacks.
Love is not a choice
We often wonder what makes a man fall in love? Sometimes we date a man, and he breaks up with us, only to meet his future wife a couple of months later.
Naturally, we are left wondering why a man falls in love with one woman and not with another one?
First of all, a man doesn’t choose to fall in love with a woman. But a man ready for a relationship will watch the woman he is with and observe her carefully to see if she has the qualities he is looking for. (Just as you should do with the man you are dating.)
If he likes what he sees, he will allow himself to fall in love with her.
How the hell did this happen?
Another scenario is that he didn’t consider himself ready for a relationship, but a unique woman came along and took him by storm. He falls in love with her and chooses to commit to her.
A subconscious process
The good news is that both the conscious and subconscious parts of this process are very similar to most men.
In our project to learn more about how modern men think and behave, we asked more than 300 men why they fell in love with a specific woman. What made them crazy about her? What made her unique in their eyes?
Continue reading, and you will have all the answers.
She is Special
Most men pointed out that they were looking for someone who combined the different qualities they desired to have in a woman.
Thus, no single quality makes a man fall in love.
A man is looking for the whole packet
They want someone who is fun to be around and, at the same time, is a bit mysterious. But they also want someone who is genuinely sweet and loyal. They want someone who is a good cook, who is good with their friends and family.
Most men also look for a woman who will be fun to take on different adventures. (Life is, after all, one big adventure.)
Attraction and a unique combination of different qualities
A man has to feel physical attraction, but the way the attraction is combined with other unique qualities makes him fall in love. A lot of people are funny, but if you are both funny and, for example, adventurous, you have something that makes you unique.
If you want to increase your ability to be attractive, check out our article “How to appear more attractive as a woman.“
You are not easily replaced
The more different and opposing qualities you combine, the harder you will be to replace.
He can’t just get the same thing by going on another date. If you are unique in a way that caters to his specific taste, he will fall in love with you.
If he feels like he can spend the rest of his life looking and still not find someone as unique as you, then he will feel ready to commit to you. You will be special to him. He will fall in love.
She is Positive
For a man to fall in love, he must feel like he can be himself around you. He needs to trust that you will not judge him. Thus, men are much more likely to fall in love with a positive and happy woman.
When men are in a relationship, they have a huge need to fix things for you, they want you to be happy and satisfied, and they consider it their job to make this happen.
So to fall in love, a man needs to feel that he can make you happy. If you are positive and easygoing, he knows that he, in fact, can make you happy, and he will have an easier time falling in love with you.
She appreciates him
For men, it’s essential to feel appreciated. Before he falls in love, he wants to know that you value what he brings to the table.
I’m not going to lie. He needs a hefty healthy dose of admiration to fall in love. If you admire him professionally, it’s even better since men take a lot of pride in their accomplishments.
She Respects his life mission
Respect is also an important component for most men. What they mean with the word respect, is that they are looking for a woman who supports them in what they are trying to accomplish in life.
An ideal woman is a woman who shows the man that she has high regard for his decision-making skills. She respects his opinion and how he chooses to carry himself in the world.
He knows you support him
To make a man fall in love, don’t try and change him. Instead, give him the feeling that you admire and respect him. You should admire him, so there is no need to fake this one. Just make sure that he is aware of it.
You can also check out our article “How to make someone fall back fall back in love with you,” to continue to be the woman of his dreams during the relationship.
She is similar to Him
The old saying “opposites attract” is simply not true.
The opposite is true. We fall in love with people who are similar to us.
Those similarities come in many different forms, and they all relate to what makes a man fall in love with one woman and not with another.
A man falls in love when he meets someone similar to him. Examples of this can be that she has similar values and political opinions. Another example is that she has similar tastes and various similarities in her personality.
Similar looks
And don’t even get me started on similarities in the way couples look. When you start looking for this, you see couples who look the same, not only physically, but also dress the same and have the same fitness level.
Why similarity is so important for love and attraction
People are attracted to similarities because that justifies their version of reality. When the two of you like the same thing, it’s a mutual confirmation that the two of you made the right decision. The two of you have good taste.
The connection is strong
This point is also logical from a practical point of view, because the more similar you are, the smoother your life will flow. You will have fewer arguments and be able to do more things for each other.
If you are similar, you understand each other better and thus connect better.
Laughing together
Similar humor is another big thing for why men fall in love. One of the men in our survey even said, “she laughs at my jokes more than anyone has ever done before.” Case closed.
We all think we are funny, and we all like to laugh, so it’s instantly desirable when we find someone who shares our sense of humor.
Life should be fun.
She has Something He Lacks
Similarities are good, but a healthy dose of difference should also be thrown into the mix.
Because, as humans, we always strive to better ourselves.
We want what we don’t have. We try to accomplish a better life for ourselves, whether better life means more money, more emotional stability, or simply more empathy.
If there is a need in us and we sense that the other person can fulfill that need and make us more complete, we fall in love.
We improve ourselves by our choice of partner
Take looks, for example. Many couples look alike, and many of us fall in love with someone similar to us. But many of us are also very attracted to something different from ourselves. If we have a fair complexion, we might be attracted to darker people and vice versa.
We are attracted to things we lack
The same mechanism also works on a much deeper level. We might lack self-confidence and therefore be attracted to people who have self-confidence.
Or we might be very introverted and thus be attracted and fall in love with someone more extroverted.
This way, by falling in love and entering into couplehood, we acquire something that enriches our lives.
We are not always aware of what we lack, and it’s not always easy to spot on the surface level. But this form of yearning decides what makes a man fall in love and with whom.
She Gives Him the Right Amount of Space
Another component present when a man falls in love is the right amount of space. This sweet spot is different for every man.
Some people fall in love when there is hardly any space at all.
They need a lot of reinforcement through phone calls and attention to feel that the relationship is going in the right direction. They crave validation, and this is what makes them fall in love.
Other men need space
They need a component of insecurity, of missing and longing, to be able to fall in love. They fall in love when there is insecurity about whether you like him or not, whether he will “win” you or not.
Different versions of space
Space exists on many different levels. There is physical space. How often do you see each other? How much time do you spend together?
There is also space in the form of how independent we are in our relationship with each other. Some men fall in love with an independent woman. Other men fall in love when the woman in question relies on them and needs them.
The third space is how fast we let someone in. We can be very open and vulnerable and tell the man in question a lot about ourselves, and for some men, this is exactly what makes them fall in love.
The right amount of space depends on the man in question
Other men will fall in love when there is much more space in the form of what we tell them and how fast we make them a part of our life.
Then there is a component of mystery and “hard to get.”
Hard to get works very well on some men because we value something hard to obtain more than something easy to obtain.
The right amount of space in all these different areas, for that particular man, is what will make him fall in love with a specific woman.
In Conclusion
Maybe you were googling “what makes a man fall in love” in order to make someone special fall in love with you?
If that is the case, check out our article about “How to make someone fall in love with you.“
At the same time, you should be aware that we cannot make someone fall in love with us. Why love happens to two specific people at a certain point depends on a wide variety of factors.
What makes a man fall in love is unique to him and his circumstances. It’s both a conscious and a subconscious event. It’s a choice, but it’s also destiny.
Moa Ailert is the founder and editor-in-chief of Her Brilliant Friend.
She has a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and plenty of insight into human psychology from traveling and living in different places around the world.
Moa is currently based in Portugal where she has a guesthouse; Villa dos Irmaos.
She has various websites, among others Ericeira Insider, but Her brilliant friend is her true passion project.