14 types of guys who stay single – Should You Date One?

How to recognize them and how to act

Have you just started dating a new guy, and now you wonder if he is boyfriend material? Check out these 14 types of guys who stay single and see if he is one of them, or if you have found gold?  

Or maybe you just want to know what you should watch out for when you enter the dating jungle. No problem. I’ve got you covered.

1. The player

He is attractive. He has a way with the ladies. This guy is a serial dater and a lethal seducer. I think we all have at least one in our circle of acquaintances.

All sorts of women fall for his charm; some fall in love, and others are just happy to enjoy his charisma and his good looks.

The player is a guy who is looking for love, but who is too wounded and restless to recognize it when he sees it.

Since he has no problem attracting women, he always believes something better is around the corner.

Should you date him?

We might laugh and make fun of the player.

But as the player gets older, he starts questioning himself and his behavior. Players who are in their late 30s or early 40s are often frustrated with their relationship status. Even if they wouldn’t admit to this, they also want love.

The player is not the best at relationships and that’s why his relationships usually fall apart. He acts out, he misbehaves and flirting is like candy to him.

Players can be reformed.

Should you do it? That’s another question. Only if you are a very secure and confident person with no tendencies to jealousy.  

2. The insecure man

Men can also be deeply insecure.

The insecure man might have been bullied in childhood. Maybe he was always looked upon as a huge geek who couldn’t be successful with women. Men who fall into this category can be short or bald or have any other flaw that makes society (unfairly) consider them less manly.

The insecure man can come across as very sweet and normal, especially early in the dating phase. Later on, he will show you more of his insecurities and you will understand why he has problems finding a woman.

Too much insecurity pushes people away. (Sad, but true.) Someone who needs constant reassurance and attention will drain your mental energy.

Should you date him?

The insecure man is a late bloomer. He can be a very nice boyfriend. Insecure men are often willing to work on themselves. If you feel his insecurities are pushing you away, suggest therapy.

You might have found a gem here. Insecurities can be conquered.

Do you want to know more about men being insecure, read my article Signs of insecurity in a man.

3. The emotionally unavailable man

When you first start to date him, the emotionally unavailable man seems like a real catch. He is attentive, loving and has a great life.

You keep wondering why someone so amazing is still single. The truth is that you haven’t triggered his fear just yet. When you do, he will withdraw. And you will be staring at your very quiet phone, wondering if you did something wrong.

Love scares him

A man who is emotionally unavailable is so because he didn’t learn healthy loving attachment in childhood. He is longing for love, but at the same time, love scares him.

He will find faults in the women he does date and he seldom falls in love. He can also quickly fall out of love over something most people would regard as minor.

If you want to understand this type of man better, I strongly recommend my articles 10 signs of an emotionally unavailable man and How to Connect with an Emotionally Unavailable Man.

Should you date him?

To be honest with you, the emotionally unavailable man usually comes around at some point in their life. He might be 37, 42 or even 54, when he finally chooses commitment.

But there is no telling if it will be with you or if you will keep banging your head against a wall.

Another factor you should take into consideration is that it is possible to be emotionally unavailable in a relationship. Even if you manage to “get him,” the relationship might not be what you want.

4. The picky man

The picky man already has a very clear picture of his future wife.

She is beautiful, successful and charismatic.

His friends and family are going to love her, she will have an impressive career.  On top of that, her sex appeal is unmatched.

He is searching for perfection

The only problem is that she doesn’t exist.

Real women fart, (sometimes while having sex), are lazy (sometimes, let’s be honest here), and have at least one super annoying friend.

Thus, the picky man tells himself he simply hasn’t met the right woman yet. The women he does meet never seem even to get close to the vivid picture he has in his head. Why should he settle?

Should you date him?

The picky man is a tricky one. Pickiness is a way to shield yourself from emotional closeness. If you manage to break down his carefully crafted wall, he will realize that a real woman is better than any imagination he can come up with; farts and all.

But if he doesn’t have the ability to be that vulnerable and commit, his quest for perfection will hurt your confidence. You might buy into his worldview that if you was just a bit more beautiful and successful, you would be the perfect power couple.

Tread carefully.

5. Men who haven’t had a long-term relationship

The biggest indicator on whether your guy is one of the types of guys who stay single is if he has had any committed long-term relationships.

If he hasn’t had a girlfriend, that’s a telltale sign that he is dealing with some of the issues on this list.

If he only has had long-distance relationships, that’s another clear sign that he has commitment issues.

Should you date him?

All men commit to a woman at some point. You might very well end up being his first. But statistically speaking, you want. He has already rejected a lot of chances before you come along. You have to ask yourself why you think he is ready now. And no, it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with him.

I guess the real question is if you are a logical or romantic person?

6. Men who love their freedom

Does he mention in his dating profile that he loves traveling and has already visited 60 countries? And when you go on a date, he keeps referring to what a fun and free life he has compared to his married friends?

Is he the kind of guy who likes to constantly sample new things? And yes, that includes a wide array of different women.

You’ve got yourself a freedom lover on your hands.

Should you date him?

Be honest with yourself about what you are looking for? Do you want a family? Do you want to settle down and buy a big house in the countryside?

If yes, this man is not for you. Simple as that.

If you, on the other hand, love to travel and think monogamy is overrated, you might very well have found your match.

What many women do wrong is that they hear a man saying he loves adventure, and then they still go along and think they can change him.

Even if you manage to tame him, you will always have a wild animal in a cage. That, my friend, is a recipe for years of simmering bitterness.

7. Men who have negative stories about relationships

You can always spot one of the types of guys who stay single by the way he talks about marriage and relationships.

He might say things along the line that women can’t be trusted, and all marriages end in divorce anyway. He might also allude to the fact that people lose their freedom once they enter a relationship and that married people often stop trying and are generally unhappy.

Commitment scares him

Whatever his version is, you will be able to observe that he has negative stories when it comes to long-term commitment. He doesn’t view a relationship as something worth obtaining, rather as something he is trying to avoid.

His fear is doing the talking.

The stories we tell ourselves have a tendency to become self-fulfilling prophesies, thus this guy usually stays single for big parts of his life.

Should you date him?

For many women, this guy would be a hard pass. Who wants anyone this afraid of love? But his fear stems from previous bad experiences. Those could be his own relationships or his parent’s relationships.

If you can show him that you and your relationship can be different, he might actually come around and enjoy himself.

We are all wired for love and for forming couple; this is a very strong biological instinct within us. So, this guy is basically fighting himself on a daily basis; if you want to enter the war for his heart, that’s up to you.

8. Men who always pick unavailable women

You might think only women are guilty of this behavior. But it’s an Achilles heel for many men as well. This guy is still single because he is always falling for the wrong woman, and when he falls, he falls hard. Sometimes he yearns for his dream woman for years.

The women he picks are either already taken or totally and utterly uninterested in him. Sometimes he chooses emotionally unavailable women who encourage him and plays with him, but never commit to the relationship.

He can also be longing for a woman from his past who has already moved on.

This phenomenon is called the phantom-ex.

He has a highly idolized view of this woman and no one he meets seems to be even close to her caliber. Thus, he ends up being one of the types of guys who stay single.

Should you date him?

Dating this kind of guy is a risky endeavor. At some point, he will bring up her; his lost love. Unless you are extremely confident, you might feel inadequate. After all, it’s not easy to compete with a fantasy.

You probably got the hang of it by now; his behavior is a way to protect himself against emotional pain. Should you take him on?

Go ahead and give it a try. If you fail, you might become his phantom ex a couple of years from now.

9. The guy who has been badly burned in the past

Sometimes all it takes to seriously fuck up someone is one bad experience.

Maybe he was cheated on. Maybe his ex left with his best friend. Or the mother of his child took the kid, to never be seen again.

These things happen. Sometimes the traumatic event is something physical that was no one’s fault, like a fire.

The problem is that your new guy is still suffering and desperately trying to get over whatever happened to him. He will be ready for a new relationship at one point, but is he ready now?

Should you date him?

Healing is a process. All of us have past bad experiences. The answer to this question depends on how open he is to working on himself. If he is the right guy for you, you should be able to see progress.

If you notice that he starts to trust you and that the two of you are capable of building a loving foundation, this guy can absolutely be reformed.

You might just be the one to save him from becoming one of the types of guys who stay single.

10. The introverted guy

Other people are scary.

At least that’s how the introverted guy feels.

Thus, he rarely dates. In fact, he isn’t all that social, as a result, he hasn’t had a woman in years. Flirting and approaching are not his strong suit. But when you get to know him, you discover that he has a lot to offer. He is funny and well-educated. He listens when you speak, and he seems to be completely mesmerized by you.

You have to take the initiative

If the right woman doesn’t find him, the introverted guy is one of the types of guys who stay single. The reason for this is that a lot of women are not attracted to this kind of guy, so he really doesn’t have a lot of choices. Falling in love is a lot about making a good first impression, especially in online dating, so sometimes the world just simply forgets about this guy.

If you are interested in an introverted guy, check out my article How to get a shy guy.

Should you date him?

Absolutely. Introverted guys are usually a catch. In fact, I want one. I’m introverted myself.

He will be forever grateful that you saw him and that you chose him. You will have lots of quiet weekends, absolutely absorbed in your respective passions.

Just don’t try to change him.

Embrace his weirdness and you will be fine.

11. The anxious guy

Anxiety is terrible. It stops us from asking for a date. It keeps us from kissing the person we like. In most cases, we don’t even look their direction. We do anything as not to wake the beast of anxiety.

We don’t know where it comes from, but we know we will do anything to get rid of it.

This is the guy who will tell you that he lost 60 pounds, that he is on antidepressants and that his therapist thinks it’s time for him to start dating.

He moves too fast

This is also the guy who tells you he really likes you, after the first date. When you come home you already have ten missed calls. You start to realize we he might become one of the types of guys who stay single.

It’s all a little bit too much.

Anxious people can struggle to form long-term relationships because they adjust themselves too much to the other person. They love too intensely.

Unfortunately, this scares other people away.

Should you date him?

Yes. Give him a chance. Give him plenty of space to be himself. Reassure him. Also, make sure you tell him about your boundaries. The anxious guy can become great boyfriend. All he needs is a firm and loving hand.

12. The immature guy

Does he still lives with his parents?

Does his mum cook for him when she comes around to clean his apartment? Is his place as messy as a 5-year-old’s play area?

The immature guy is one of the types of guys who often stay single, because most women take one look at him (or rather his place) and decide that he is simply too much of a project.

This guy might also struggle professionally, so that’s another turnoff for lots of women.

His easygoing approach is charming at first

He can also be recognized by his fondness for buying grown-up toys for his salary; you will find a lot of video games and drones at his place.

As if all of this isn’t enough, his immaturity can come across in conversations as well.

And don’t kid yourself into thinking that no 50-year-old can fall into the category of the immature guy; they absolutely can.

At the beginning of the relationship, you probably like him for his childish enthusiasm and his carefree living. He might also be pretty eager to settle down since he is looking for both a mum and cleaning lady.

Should you date him?

If you don’t mind responsibilities, the two of you might be a good match.

Just watch out so you don’t start acting like his mum. The day you remind him to pay his bills while picking up his dirty underwear from the floor, you are already in too deep.

This guy can absolutely be trained. We all need to grow up at some point. It all comes down to how open he is to change. Do you need to tell him once or a hundred time?

13. The workaholic

Workaholics can be surprisingly alluring since they usually have the money to treat you to nice dinners and fun weekend trips. You will probably start out thinking his passion and work ethic is sexy.

Finally; an ambitious man.

He has drive

This kind of man will also be very attentive at the beginning of the relationship. After all, he has good manners.

It will take a couple of months before you realize that he is one of the types of guys who stay single. You will be alone on a Saturday evening, waiting for him, when it hits you. He is addicted to his work.

Later that night, he will roll off you after lovemaking, and check his email.

Should you date him?

His obsession with his work is a trauma response. It’s just healthier than heroin.

For the right firm woman, this guy can and will improve.

After all, he understands the value of rules and regulations. If he is aware of his problem and ready to work on them, I say, give it a go.

Just set a deadline for yourself. Don’t become too attached to dating his potential. Be prepared to leave if he is not capable of the change you need.

14. The guy who had a traumatic childhood

I think we have all met this guy. He has overcome a lot. Despite plenty of difficult past experiences, he has created a life for himself. We respect him. When we find out more about him, we fall in love. He is vulnerable and strong and the two of you can stay up the whole night talking.

I don’t know why, but these kinds of men are often extremely attractive.

Of course, he might not be talkative, be he will tell you enough to make you understand that you shouldn’t hurt him and that he has difficult opening up.

Should you date him?

Tough question. There is something alluring about him. He needs you. But the trauma he experienced often expresses itself through addiction. Many of these guys also struggle with other parts of their life.

It is tempting to be their mother Teresa. Only you might one day realize that he is incapable of change. Do you love him as the man he is today, or do you love the idea of a project?

Be honest and you have your answer.

A Final Note

Guys who stay single usually are not only suffering from one of the diagnoses above. They often fit into two or more profiles.

The player can also be immature. The anxious guy can have been badly burnt in the past. The workaholic can also be extremely picky.

I’m sure you also recognized yourself in some of these types. We all have these issues. No one goes through life unshattered. In the end, the question of if you should date one of the types of guys who stay single comes down to how much you care about him. Everyone is capable of change.